When am I ever going to grow up?!

Ok....drinking is a good thing. To me. Yes it is a good thing. Drinking moderately when you're down in the dumps isn't a good thing. I thought binge drinking when you're depressed is a good thing. So I binged baby...drank with my sister recently. Dhis, if you're reading this. Shut the hellup. It started out fine with just Sprite and Vodka....Note: I hate gassy stuff with hard liquor. But we had no choice due to slothfulness of our asses getting up to the shops.

So we drank....I drank....and then you know when you're at a certain pissy level of where everything is numb including your brain and you either hate the world or love everyone(one love)....hell yes..I was there....and wanted only neat Vodka shots with a little Blue liqueur...just for colour....I'm a classy drunk (This is discretionary in the coming paragraphs)....

Then as the night progressed...I starting dancing with my cupboards...and then decided to exercise on my gym ball(medicine ball) – balancing is a key word here...I’ll leave it up to you to describe what was I like drunk on a gym ball...no pictures, as I value my self-worth..

The climax is approaching....I promise...

Apparently, I had poured my heart's content to my blackmailing sister....about sexual fantasies and loves of my entire life...seriously...I'm in so much danger right now.

Then she thinks...you know...it's time to tuck little bouncing gym ball drinkedy drunk monkey to bed...and she'll have a good night sleep..

Oh I slept...like a freaking baby...and I only woke up to the sunlight and singing birds...how nice...no life threatening asthma attacks...no toilet visits...cool eh..just one little thing: I could smell puke somehow...like really strong smell of puke...and I was like what the?.....then after sitting up half way...and trying to put the jigsaw together..I realized...I had puked all over myself...in my SLEEP...

Ladies and gentleman: Me.

I cleaned up everything...everything was blue...my sheets...my face and my hair...and my sister is still perplexed. As usual.

But I've got a question for you...It's a medical question...How does someone puke in their sleep...totally out cold....what if I had choked on my own puke and died?

I can be intellectual and I can be nonsensical.

The balanced mind is the way of life.

I'm 27 going on 15 and I'm in love with myself.