Past life analysis

How would you like to be greeted in the mornings?

Perhaps, a warm smile, a nice plate of sugary donuts in from of you, stupid emails from friends (I love it) - makes my morning every time..OR,if Tony Prove struts around my cubicle(which he usually does)...Tony Prove is the engineer, with tight buns and perfect spiky hair and a silver earring( I hate men with earrings, but Tony Prove made me change my mind...)Sigh..Tony Prove’s buns(better than sugary donuts ;)..

Today, lovely people, I had no freaking morning emails.

Come on, you are seriously depriving me of my morning mails. Calling out to ALL ex- KPMGians...wheres the goss??!!

Anyhoo...

Instead I got an email from an uncle titled past life analysis (no bullshit) - this has been endorsed by astrologers and crap like that.

Me...wow...made my morning for sure....because I'am quite sure I was Cleopatra in my past life, only two, either Cleopatra or some kind of goddess princess...and just needed to get some confirmation from this ‘endorsed’ past life analysis...

The thing went like this..

Who were you in your past life?

To know the answer, just type in the date you were born in your present life...and press for diagnosis...

I typed in everything and pressed diagnosis... *YAWN*

The end result...

Your past life diagnosis:

I don't know how you feel about it, but you were a male in your last earthly incarnation. You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Poland around the year 1700. Your profession was that of a trainer or holder of fine animals, such as birds..

Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Person with huge energy, good in planning and supervising. If you were just a garbage-man, you were chief garbage-man.

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your lesson is to learn humility and faith in spiritual principles. You should believe in higher reasons.

Do you remember now?

--> Another near nervous breakdown.

Me: This is more than I can stomach.

Vodka.

Hehehaha.

...

That wasnt happy laughter.

That was...it can't get any better than this.

Life is gooooottttt...me a male,polish,chief garbage collector with a fetish for birds in my past life yo!!

'Be great in act, as you have been in thought' - Shakespeare.

It's not easy to be me.

So in the past: Trashy times.