Dear Mr. and Mrs. Loud Humping Bunnies.

This is the second bizarre thing that has happened to me since I moved in to the Upper Esplanade (My apartment). Don’t know if I told you about the 1st one.

First occurrence

It was just about 7am I think when I was leaving the house for work. My idiot sister Dhis was here with me at that time. I took the lift down (I live on the first floor and reject the damn stairs sometimes because I’m a natural sloth). In the lift I saw artful blood stains on one side of the lift. I had visions of CSI Miami flashing immediately. But I brushed it off and went on…opening the front door…there was blood stains all over the handle and glass pieces all on the ground….I thought…that was it. I’m going a little late to work and I need to unravel this at once. I put on my Sherlock hat and with full CSI mode..I headed to the bushes and the dustbin area to look for a dead body as I was so sure somebody was murdered in my building. Then I needed a little help and I woke Dhis up.

Me: Dhishy Dhisy get up!!!
Dhis: Unsteady as usual. What do you want?!
Me: I need help.
Dhis: For what?
Me: Someone was murdered. I need you to help me find the body.
Dhis: What the F is wrong with you?
She just thinks someone had a fight.
….

Fine I'll take matters into my own hands. There was too much blood for it to be just a fight. There was too much blood at wrong places. I searched the bushes, I searched the car park…
No luck.

Should I call the cops?

No.

I went to work a very troubled person.

---------->>

Now coming to the point of this blog. Humping Bunnies.

My bedroom faces the carpark and I hear, let's just call them Mr and Mrs Ride Machine. I hear them quarrelling at least once a week…like this…" You shut up you useless whore, I throw you outta any timeeeee"…"You bitch I burn you in your sleep and have you for breakfast"…"emma cut your thing off and feed it to the dogs"….etc etc….along those lines.

But also…of late….I hear other sounds….

You remember how Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm at a café in the movie When Harry Met Sally?...Yes basically it was all rompitiromp rumble rumble for the past week……last night…my sleep was affected by high pitched shrills with long intervals followed by giddy giggles and sighs and borderline weeps and I GET THE POINT THAT IT WAS HOT AND HEAVY.….I couldn't hear much of him at all…I could hear her…Ok I get the point…..Poor dry me went to bed at 2am.

Pity Me.