Yet another estate.

Picture of the palm oil estate.

Picture caption: I'am so a town person

Picture of the office
Picture caption: Sophistication at its best

Thinking of something intellectual to write, I just remembered I’ve got some grisly pictures of the estate that I audited (yes I’am still with KPMG, just for another 2 more months). I have been doing these estate audits at least once a year(Sarawak,Johor and etc)Palm oil estates. For those of you, who do not know what this is, please click on the link below.

http://www.mpob.gov.my/

What to expect while you’re there:-

1) To all comers: Red ants crawling up freely in your jeans and possibly into your underpants.

2) You need to hold your pee/whatever else until you reach the hotel.

3) Refer to no.2 – I get this huge repulsion when asked to use public toilets- even if it is a matter of life and death. I assume you would be able to make out the unbelievable condition of the toilets after looking at the pictures above. Only-if-iam-dying.Maybe.

4) Did I mention constipation? - refer point 2 and 3.

5) You need to speak ‘Kampung’ Malay- ‘Kampung’ means village. (Does not really help when you town Malay sucks crap( I mixed up saya and aku(rude)-both means’me’, and kamu and engkau(rude)-both means ‘you’- I fall into the impolite category, which usually gets me filthy stares, along with my propensity of smiling from ear to ear after that.

6) You get fat – because they constantly feed you this yummy food and I’am, as you would expect, a greedy pig.

7) You can’t wear anything that is too low cut, as it is a ‘kampung’ area. No hard feelings. It’s just that they are likely to go crazy sometimes.

And they say they’ll look after you and give you first class treatment.See below.My transportation.We got picked up in this.Pimp my ride?

I asked the driver to turn on the radio and then I looked at the speakers and he smiled.

On the way home( windows were broken-quite windy)

Almost there

Home

Lets not get into where we stayed or had lunch at.

You need to get into the estate by 9am, but I’am only up by 8:30, so I’am there at 10. After work, you ought to tell your juniors to continue working, so you save time on the workload the next day...but...I tell them....” lets go to the DVD shop and buy Prison Break and Desperate Housewives”.....then we can all watch!!!!’’....kids, think about tomorrow when it comes, it’s another day, so don’t worry about that today.Geez.Lighten up.

The next day = pulling out all my hair in stress, looking like Einstein trying to get things done before its time to go home.

This is as far as intellectual and I can go darling : )

I found a book in my sister's drawer that made me stiff and think about myself. It wasn’t sweet valley high, as I’d imagine, but it was “ Mein Kampf”, written by Adolf Hitler, in jail..his political ideals,his beliefs and motivation,and his struggle to consolidate Germany into one great nation.( I just read the back of the book)..Enough for me to know what the heck it is.SHIT MAN. My sister reads that. I think. It could be just there. You know, not hers.

......

I’ll write about Malaysia’s independence after this. Or the stock market crash after this.Or..ohhh shut up I’am going to sleep now.

I need to be on a stern diet- look at my arms, quadruple chin and cheeks : ‘(

Photo caption: a picture tells you a thousand words. In this case only yells 4- FATTY LOOSE SOME WEIGHT.

Sudden craving: Dried chilli pan mee with vegetable soup followed by nutella and vanilla ice cream. Uhhhh heavennn is a placeee on earthhhh.

Bye.