I love you Berno...
And the greatest of these....
Brains or Intercourse
I always wonder why people do research to discover the obvious. Now researchers have “discovered” that smart people have less intercourse than people of average intelligence.
http://www.gnxp.com/blog/2007/04/intercourse-and-intelligence.php
One reason the dimwitted get so much action is that they tend to be more attractive than smart people. That’s not a coincidence. It’s genetics. Hot/dumb people are more likely to mate with other hot/dumb people and produce hot/dumb kids. Here’s a headline you’ll never see: “Nobel Prize winner for physics thanked his supermodel parents for all of their support.”
I once saw a study that said smart people are more likely to have bad eyesight than dumb people. That explains a lot. If smart people could see each other clearly, there would never be another smart baby created except by genetic mutation.
You would think that smart people would use their intelligence and creativity to improve their sex lives. But I don’t need to tell my readers that when you have an excellent imagination, a partner just slows things down. People of average intelligence have more intercourse, sure, but I’ll bet the Mensans are winning the orgasm competition by about ten to one. Add that to the things you don’t really need to do any research on.
This leads me to my question of the day. Would you be willing to give up 10 points of IQ for a dramatic and permanent increase in your sex life (with other humans)?
Why rich women have sons
Females are tougher, so if you're a poor mother, you're more likely to have a daughter, a study shows.
RICH, married, well-educated women tend to have more sons, while those who are poorer and unhealthy tend to have more daughters, a study shows.
Put simply, the reason is that women are tougher than men. According to evolutionary theory, women living in poorer communities are predisposed to have daughters to ensure survival of the family line because the men are at greater risk of dying younger.
The US research, published recently in the Proceedings of the Royal Society, looked at a database of 50 million people. It holds a mirror to poor health and education in black America, where black mothers have long had fewer boys than white mothers.
And it has depressing implications for countries such as India and China, where female infanticide occurs, since the findings suggest these countries cannot avoid having an excess of daughters.
The idea has proved true for a range of species, such as insects, birds, pigs, sheep, dogs, mink and deer.
"We find that married, better educated and younger [which is advantageous from a biological perspective] mothers are more likely to bear sons," said Professor Lena Edlund, who co-wrote the study with Professor Douglas Almond, a colleague at Columbia University in New York.
"For instance, relative to a mother with some college education, a mother without a high school degree was approximately 0.6 per cent less likely to bear a boy.
There has been little research in Australia into sex distribution at birth. However, the National Perinatal Statistics Unit at the University of NSW has just started researching the subject. "In Australia we have historically had quite stable ratios, about 106 boys to 100 girls, which is in the normal range," Jishan Dean, the unit's acting director, says.
The research is looking at whether recent migrants from India and China, with their cultural preference for boys, are influencing Australian birth patterns, she says. The researchers will also look at socioeconomic factors.
The US study provides powerful confirmation of an idea set out more than three decades ago by Robert Trivers, an evolutionary biologist, and Dan Willard, a mathematician, who boil life down to one factor - having as many offspring as possible and thus passing on as many genes to future generations as possible.
The Trivers-Willard hypothesis argues that strong, healthy women tend to have sons, ensuring their genes and family lines are passed on. These sons, in turn, are strong and outdo other weaker male offspring to reproduce, thus ensuring survival of the fittest and of the family line.
Weaker or poor mothers tend to have weaker sons who do not do well and are more likely to die early - earlier than women in the same society.
To ensure survival of the family line, the women tend to have daughters because they are more likely to survive long enough to become mothers themselves.
Although the results strictly apply to the US, Edlund says that she would expect the effect of a bias towards girls at the bottom social strata to be more pronounced in developing countries because infant mortality is up to 10 times greater than in America.
Being bilingual 'protects brain'
Being fluent in two languages may help to keep the brain sharper for longer, a study suggests.
Researchers from York University in Canada carried out tests on 104 people between the ages of 30 and 88.
They found that those who were fluent in two languages rather than just one were sharper mentally.
Writing in the journal of Psychology and Ageing, they said being bilingual may protect against mental decline in old age.
Previous studies have shown that keeping the brain active can protect against senile dementia.
Research has shown that people who play musical instruments, dance or read regularly may be less likely to develop the condition.
Other activities like doing crosswords or playing board games may also help.
Language skills
This latest study appears to back up the theory that language skills also have a protective effect.
Dr Ellen Bialystok and colleagues at York University assessed the cognitive skills of all those involved in the study using a variety of widely recognised tests.
They tested their vocabulary skills, their non-verbal reasoning ability and their reaction time.
Half of the volunteers came from Canada and spoke only English. The other half came from India and was fluent in both English and Tamil.
The volunteers had similar backgrounds in the sense that they were all educated to degree level and were all middle class.
The researchers found that the people who were fluent in English and Tamil responded faster than those who were fluent in just English. This applied to all age groups.
The researchers also found that the bilingual volunteers were much less likely to suffer from the mental decline associated with old age.
"The bilinguals were more efficient at all ages tested and showed a slower rate of decline for some processes with aging," they said.
"It appears...that bilingualism helps to offset age-related losses."
The UK's Alzheimer's Society welcomed the study.
"These findings, that early development of second language may improve a specific aspect of cognitive function in later life, are very interesting," said Professor Clive Ballard, its director of research.
"It is a possibility that the acquisition of a second language in early childhood may influence the process of the development of neuronal circuits.
"However, the results of this particular study need to be interpreted cautiously as they were comparing groups of individual of different nationalities, educated in different systems. "It is also well recognised that education in general can bestow benefits on cognitive function in later life."
......> All from some article.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
Past life analysis
How would you like to be greeted in the mornings?
Perhaps, a warm smile, a nice plate of sugary donuts in from of you, stupid emails from friends (I love it) - makes my morning every time..OR,if Tony Prove struts around my cubicle(which he usually does)...Tony Prove is the engineer, with tight buns and perfect spiky hair and a silver earring( I hate men with earrings, but Tony Prove made me change my mind...)Sigh..Tony Prove’s buns(better than sugary donuts ;)..
Today, lovely people, I had no freaking morning emails.
Come on, you are seriously depriving me of my morning mails. Calling out to ALL ex- KPMGians...wheres the goss??!!
Anyhoo...
Instead I got an email from an uncle titled past life analysis (no bullshit) - this has been endorsed by astrologers and crap like that.
Me...wow...made my morning for sure....because I'am quite sure I was Cleopatra in my past life, only two, either Cleopatra or some kind of goddess princess...and just needed to get some confirmation from this ‘endorsed’ past life analysis...
The thing went like this..
Who were you in your past life?
To know the answer, just type in the date you were born in your present life...and press for diagnosis...
I typed in everything and pressed diagnosis... *YAWN*
The end result...
Your past life diagnosis:
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were a male in your last earthly incarnation. You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Poland around the year 1700. Your profession was that of a trainer or holder of fine animals, such as birds..
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Person with huge energy, good in planning and supervising. If you were just a garbage-man, you were chief garbage-man.
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your lesson is to learn humility and faith in spiritual principles. You should believe in higher reasons.
Do you remember now?
--> Another near nervous breakdown.
Me: This is more than I can stomach.
Vodka.
Hehehaha.
...
That wasnt happy laughter.
That was...it can't get any better than this.
Life is gooooottttt...me a male,polish,chief garbage collector with a fetish for birds in my past life yo!!
'Be great in act, as you have been in thought' - Shakespeare.
It's not easy to be me.
So in the past: Trashy times.
Perhaps, a warm smile, a nice plate of sugary donuts in from of you, stupid emails from friends (I love it) - makes my morning every time..OR,if Tony Prove struts around my cubicle(which he usually does)...Tony Prove is the engineer, with tight buns and perfect spiky hair and a silver earring( I hate men with earrings, but Tony Prove made me change my mind...)Sigh..Tony Prove’s buns(better than sugary donuts ;)..
Today, lovely people, I had no freaking morning emails.
Come on, you are seriously depriving me of my morning mails. Calling out to ALL ex- KPMGians...wheres the goss??!!
Anyhoo...
Instead I got an email from an uncle titled past life analysis (no bullshit) - this has been endorsed by astrologers and crap like that.
Me...wow...made my morning for sure....because I'am quite sure I was Cleopatra in my past life, only two, either Cleopatra or some kind of goddess princess...and just needed to get some confirmation from this ‘endorsed’ past life analysis...
The thing went like this..
Who were you in your past life?
To know the answer, just type in the date you were born in your present life...and press for diagnosis...
I typed in everything and pressed diagnosis... *YAWN*
The end result...
Your past life diagnosis:
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were a male in your last earthly incarnation. You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Poland around the year 1700. Your profession was that of a trainer or holder of fine animals, such as birds..
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Person with huge energy, good in planning and supervising. If you were just a garbage-man, you were chief garbage-man.
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your lesson is to learn humility and faith in spiritual principles. You should believe in higher reasons.
Do you remember now?
--> Another near nervous breakdown.
Me: This is more than I can stomach.
Vodka.
Hehehaha.
...
That wasnt happy laughter.
That was...it can't get any better than this.
Life is gooooottttt...me a male,polish,chief garbage collector with a fetish for birds in my past life yo!!
'Be great in act, as you have been in thought' - Shakespeare.
It's not easy to be me.
So in the past: Trashy times.
Friday, November 9, 2007
Thought experiment – The lonesome accountant
I was reading the pop culture librarian (you rock) on lonesomeness. What constitutes oneself from identifying themselves with a lonesomeness fever? OMG my sentence. I’ll tell you.
8:00am: Unwillingly wake up while cursing the goddamn alarm with all kinds of foul languages and looking at my pillow and going shit I’ am going to be bald at the amount of hair I’am losing on a daily basis. Hehehe..So funny me. Hehehe. A sudden flash of the bald Britney in my head and then I’am off the bed.
7:30am: I’am up prior to a death threat to be at the office on time.
Morning Indian drama takes place at the Adams family.
8:55am: I’am at work.
Afternoon/Evening Indian drama takes place at the nutty refuge called my office.
Me, not too happy about something.See my size does matter calculator there.Yeap.I will throw it at your head should you irritate me.
Check out my nails. I'am not that feminine when it comes to showin' off nails.
In between peace: My lunch at Subway. Sandwich lunch. No rice!
8:30pm: I’am so tired. I want to go home. I’am missing my gym class. Then i’am told ok you can go off in 10 mins
9:30pm: I call someone from the Adams family to pick me up.
End result: Lonesomeness
As to how this is tied to lonesomeness, I’am not 100% sure. But its somewhere along the lines of please get a life because I’d rather sleep in during weekends. Thank you very much.
The point where I reached self awareness was about a good 5 years ago. We not talking men here (still not quite grown up there).You know, in these 26 years of my colorful life. I wanted to beat some old habits which are not good and include some habits which are good. How do you inculcate a habit? Do it for 21 times repeatedly and it’ll automatically register into your daily schedules. This is doubtlessly true, as I’am taking my multivitamins everyday without fail. Good me.
Other than being a slutto that’s afraid of getting darker than she already is while couldn’t be giving a rat’s ass about whether her panty line can be seen....welcome to world of things I like and don’t....those were ALL my plus points from my previous blogs.
For all my world class talents, my ambition to bid for miss world is doomed(Please refer to current condition of thighs-see pic below).But this is not stopping me from winning the miss world 2080 title when there’s almost nothing about me that is appealing except for my scary stretch marks from big thighs.
Ursula the sea witch 
My humps..my humps my humps my humps..opps sorry my thighs my thighs my thighs my thighs…(see below)
Spot the diff?
Dig this.
.jpg)
Happy Diwali everyone!!
I know what I did last Diwali * ing ing ing ing* - a sound from the movie psycho when Norman bates is about to knife someone: http://nalinakiru.blogs.friendster.com/nalinas_chaos/2006/10/when_the_pimps_.html#comments
It’s a good day to be alive!! Its Friday and I had a two hour lunch breakkkk..’’Friday afternoon, we come together when the feelin’s right…Friday afternoon and we’ll be jamming till the evening light…then I go to bed..on a fridayy night…’’
Ok ok ok..I’am going I’am going…geez….now I’ll leave it to you to tie this whole thing up to lonesomeness.
I’am gone.
8:00am: Unwillingly wake up while cursing the goddamn alarm with all kinds of foul languages and looking at my pillow and going shit I’ am going to be bald at the amount of hair I’am losing on a daily basis. Hehehe..So funny me. Hehehe. A sudden flash of the bald Britney in my head and then I’am off the bed.
7:30am: I’am up prior to a death threat to be at the office on time.
Morning Indian drama takes place at the Adams family.
8:55am: I’am at work.
Afternoon/Evening Indian drama takes place at the nutty refuge called my office.
Me, not too happy about something.See my size does matter calculator there.Yeap.I will throw it at your head should you irritate me.
Check out my nails. I'am not that feminine when it comes to showin' off nails.
In between peace: My lunch at Subway. Sandwich lunch. No rice!8:30pm: I’am so tired. I want to go home. I’am missing my gym class. Then i’am told ok you can go off in 10 mins
9:30pm: I call someone from the Adams family to pick me up.
End result: Lonesomeness
As to how this is tied to lonesomeness, I’am not 100% sure. But its somewhere along the lines of please get a life because I’d rather sleep in during weekends. Thank you very much.
The point where I reached self awareness was about a good 5 years ago. We not talking men here (still not quite grown up there).You know, in these 26 years of my colorful life. I wanted to beat some old habits which are not good and include some habits which are good. How do you inculcate a habit? Do it for 21 times repeatedly and it’ll automatically register into your daily schedules. This is doubtlessly true, as I’am taking my multivitamins everyday without fail. Good me.
Other than being a slutto that’s afraid of getting darker than she already is while couldn’t be giving a rat’s ass about whether her panty line can be seen....welcome to world of things I like and don’t....those were ALL my plus points from my previous blogs.
For all my world class talents, my ambition to bid for miss world is doomed(Please refer to current condition of thighs-see pic below).But this is not stopping me from winning the miss world 2080 title when there’s almost nothing about me that is appealing except for my scary stretch marks from big thighs.
Ursula the sea witch
My humps..my humps my humps my humps..opps sorry my thighs my thighs my thighs my thighs…(see below)
Spot the diff?
Dig this.
.jpg)
Happy Diwali everyone!!
I know what I did last Diwali * ing ing ing ing* - a sound from the movie psycho when Norman bates is about to knife someone: http://nalinakiru.blogs.friendster.com/nalinas_chaos/2006/10/when_the_pimps_.html#comments
It’s a good day to be alive!! Its Friday and I had a two hour lunch breakkkk..’’Friday afternoon, we come together when the feelin’s right…Friday afternoon and we’ll be jamming till the evening light…then I go to bed..on a fridayy night…’’
Ok ok ok..I’am going I’am going…geez….now I’ll leave it to you to tie this whole thing up to lonesomeness.
I’am gone.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
How do you talk to me? Assessing the risk of pissing me off.
With regards to my inability to blog anymore, that, the title, is the only one I can think of.
I don't really know if I should put my blog on private viewing with only a few people seeing it. Still in major contemplation. But what is the likelihood of people/strangers reading this and thinking that I may need immediate medical attention? One wonders, I wonder.
Career: All things are difficult at the beginning. I'am loving it. I'am liking my new boss. No complains there.
I treasure all my friendships. I love you all dearly. BUT,
1) Do not ask me WHAT TIME will I be finishing work.
2) Do not ask me WHY am I working on weekends.
3) Do not ask me why am I working LONG hours.
And I guarantee you we're good.
Just bear with the old bird for a bit. Making assumptions about this is reasonably unsafe, as the general violence in me would be awakened.
Selfish and strange (my rule book)
All things aside, Yamkins came back from India with an Indian Cosmo mag with Sushmita Sen looking more than prefect on the cover. And everyone was bitchin' away. I mean, is this necessary? You should love yourself and be happy with yourself. I wasn't at all threatened by the cover. I keep telling these people. They never listen. Children in my life.
This was the cover.
Like...damn that.WTF???!!! WAATHAAAFFUUUCKKK???!!why is she so prefect huh..huh huh..why why why...I don't really like you right now god...why didn't you spend a little more time on me? @#&%@$%$@
I love my mummy :
I asked my mum for some cash 2 days ago because my cashflow was a lil....uhmmmm...a lil...lets not go there...I always pay her back...
I asked her....'Can I have some cash, I'll pay you back in 6 days?'....silence....then I cleared my throat and asked her again....silence....pin drop silence. I think I heard doves cry...
So I gave up.
So I' am going to be very busy doing some wedding shopping as I have friends getting married soon :) Saree stores..here I come baby...
Now the low down on my new job? We need a whole new blog for that, will keep you all posted. Currently, it's just a girl who smells like fried fish (further than B.O) that sits in front of me (from 9am to 9pm)----> I can't hold my nose in public, my mother told me not to do that because it's rather rude. So I listened to her and bought glade stick-on air refreshener and stuck it onto my message board in my cubicle so I can breathe the flowery goodness instead of fish. The girl needs to do something about her stench man. Come on, you're a woman. I refer to her as Ratwoman.
Question for you: What do you say to a 48 year old spinster with a wonderful personality, a high flying job that wanted to get a maid especially for her dog? Cause I just stared expressionlessly. You know, like the same way I stared when my classmate,we were 14 years old, asked me fairly loudly in class..."Naaalinaaaa, what's masturbation? Is it a type of dance?"(Vivid memories)....Not quite sure whether to laugh or cry.
Note: This blog contains no amount of sarcasm or confidential information.
Problems in my life: I broke my headphones.
I tend to leave quite an impression.
God bless auditors and their love for walking into the office at 11am.
I don't really know if I should put my blog on private viewing with only a few people seeing it. Still in major contemplation. But what is the likelihood of people/strangers reading this and thinking that I may need immediate medical attention? One wonders, I wonder.
Career: All things are difficult at the beginning. I'am loving it. I'am liking my new boss. No complains there.
I treasure all my friendships. I love you all dearly. BUT,
1) Do not ask me WHAT TIME will I be finishing work.
2) Do not ask me WHY am I working on weekends.
3) Do not ask me why am I working LONG hours.
And I guarantee you we're good.
Just bear with the old bird for a bit. Making assumptions about this is reasonably unsafe, as the general violence in me would be awakened.
Selfish and strange (my rule book)
All things aside, Yamkins came back from India with an Indian Cosmo mag with Sushmita Sen looking more than prefect on the cover. And everyone was bitchin' away. I mean, is this necessary? You should love yourself and be happy with yourself. I wasn't at all threatened by the cover. I keep telling these people. They never listen. Children in my life.
This was the cover.
Like...damn that.WTF???!!! WAATHAAAFFUUUCKKK???!!why is she so prefect huh..huh huh..why why why...I don't really like you right now god...why didn't you spend a little more time on me? @#&%@$%$@I love my mummy :
I asked my mum for some cash 2 days ago because my cashflow was a lil....uhmmmm...a lil...lets not go there...I always pay her back...
I asked her....'Can I have some cash, I'll pay you back in 6 days?'....silence....then I cleared my throat and asked her again....silence....pin drop silence. I think I heard doves cry...
So I gave up.
So I' am going to be very busy doing some wedding shopping as I have friends getting married soon :) Saree stores..here I come baby...
Now the low down on my new job? We need a whole new blog for that, will keep you all posted. Currently, it's just a girl who smells like fried fish (further than B.O) that sits in front of me (from 9am to 9pm)----> I can't hold my nose in public, my mother told me not to do that because it's rather rude. So I listened to her and bought glade stick-on air refreshener and stuck it onto my message board in my cubicle so I can breathe the flowery goodness instead of fish. The girl needs to do something about her stench man. Come on, you're a woman. I refer to her as Ratwoman.
Question for you: What do you say to a 48 year old spinster with a wonderful personality, a high flying job that wanted to get a maid especially for her dog? Cause I just stared expressionlessly. You know, like the same way I stared when my classmate,we were 14 years old, asked me fairly loudly in class..."Naaalinaaaa, what's masturbation? Is it a type of dance?"(Vivid memories)....Not quite sure whether to laugh or cry.
Note: This blog contains no amount of sarcasm or confidential information.
Problems in my life: I broke my headphones.
I tend to leave quite an impression.
God bless auditors and their love for walking into the office at 11am.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Pin a medal on me.
I wanted to name this blog...' pour some sugar on me'
This post is going to be very un-nalina. Minimal ranting and maximum 'to the point'.
I need a little spur.
I need some thrill.
I did not sleep much yesterday,and no, the coffee isn't working naymore.
( That pretty much sums up the fact that I' am having a horrific day at work and wondering why didn't I just stay with KPMG)
………
Now I'am going to hit point blank. Since I can't really write from A to Z, like I typically do cause this blog involves someone that might read it. He does not live here well.
I just mildly dug my grave.I think.
Now, given my shite stats with regards to men and dating.
I have narrowed down one person so far that may fit the 'marry Nalina and have kids cause she does not wanna be a fed-up 35 year old single hag that has not time to comb her hair in the mornings and goes around saying----> I' aaammmm mmmaaarried to my workkkk, i'am soooo dryyyyyy(say it in a slow,pathetic pace,druggy and hopeless with a tint of indian slang) and unable to have kids'
Dating is a waste of time for me. Time and everything else.
The thing is.
I don't know.
There are a few things that need to be ironed out in terms of his personality/character. Things that I can't live with. Where change is necessary. Enormously necessary.
Now.I'am not perfect.
How do I do this. How do I tell him.I cannot sugar coat.I just can't love. Its going hit him and I might break his heart in two, but it has to be done.
He will be coming back soon. If I' am still in the mood. I will talk. Or else, oh oh oh oh hey hey hye ohhhhhhh la la la l…we'll just stay friends.
Should I tell him, if I still am in that frame of mind, that you need to change your ways. Because your approach isn’t too agreeable.
Don't judge.Don't say i just need to get laid.
Shamelessly,
Me.
Sing to me party people.
I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you
I'll miss you Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
Need you Feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you
This post is going to be very un-nalina. Minimal ranting and maximum 'to the point'.
I need a little spur.
I need some thrill.
I did not sleep much yesterday,and no, the coffee isn't working naymore.
( That pretty much sums up the fact that I' am having a horrific day at work and wondering why didn't I just stay with KPMG)
………
Now I'am going to hit point blank. Since I can't really write from A to Z, like I typically do cause this blog involves someone that might read it. He does not live here well.
I just mildly dug my grave.I think.
Now, given my shite stats with regards to men and dating.
I have narrowed down one person so far that may fit the 'marry Nalina and have kids cause she does not wanna be a fed-up 35 year old single hag that has not time to comb her hair in the mornings and goes around saying----> I' aaammmm mmmaaarried to my workkkk, i'am soooo dryyyyyy(say it in a slow,pathetic pace,druggy and hopeless with a tint of indian slang) and unable to have kids'
Dating is a waste of time for me. Time and everything else.
The thing is.
I don't know.
There are a few things that need to be ironed out in terms of his personality/character. Things that I can't live with. Where change is necessary. Enormously necessary.
Now.I'am not perfect.
How do I do this. How do I tell him.I cannot sugar coat.I just can't love. Its going hit him and I might break his heart in two, but it has to be done.
He will be coming back soon. If I' am still in the mood. I will talk. Or else, oh oh oh oh hey hey hye ohhhhhhh la la la l…we'll just stay friends.
Should I tell him, if I still am in that frame of mind, that you need to change your ways. Because your approach isn’t too agreeable.
Don't judge.Don't say i just need to get laid.
Shamelessly,
Me.
Sing to me party people.
I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you
I'll miss you Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
Need you Feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Revisiting the good old early days
I love face book. When it says it connects people. IT really does. I got in touch with a friend, a very good friend when we were like 8 years old and I went 'wow you remember me! And she said, of course I do, didn't I drag you to tour the drain networks in Damansara (where we live)
I cracked up. OMG.
Kids used to do normal things like play at the playground, seesaw, swings, Barbie dolls and etc.My friend and i (two 8 year olds), toured the monsoon drains around our neighbourhood.LOL
What was I like as a unique kid? A menace.
These are things I hear till today from my mother, my much older cousins, aunties and so forth. Simple distinction between me and normal children:
1) In the early 1980s, when I was born (1st child), my mum was so wretched to have me as her 1st born because I wasn't easy. She had to quit her job because I either beat up other kids at the babysitters or gave my grandmother misery (she could not walk after a while because I was an exhausting child-like grandkid from hell) could not handle me. So my mummy quit her job to look after this:
I cracked up. OMG.
Kids used to do normal things like play at the playground, seesaw, swings, Barbie dolls and etc.My friend and i (two 8 year olds), toured the monsoon drains around our neighbourhood.LOL
What was I like as a unique kid? A menace.
These are things I hear till today from my mother, my much older cousins, aunties and so forth. Simple distinction between me and normal children:
1) In the early 1980s, when I was born (1st child), my mum was so wretched to have me as her 1st born because I wasn't easy. She had to quit her job because I either beat up other kids at the babysitters or gave my grandmother misery (she could not walk after a while because I was an exhausting child-like grandkid from hell) could not handle me. So my mummy quit her job to look after this:
Ready for the ring.
2) When my sister came into this world, I got really jealous I presume.Mini me got jealous. Very jealous that when she was about 8 months crawling around the place like a dumbass, I apparently poked her eyes and took an adapter (heavy 3 point plug) and threw it at her head, and her head swelled and she cried like an idiot. Then my mother said, I laughed and thought it was funny. My mum usually makes me stand outside the house for a while as punishment after I had done something. According to her, I don’t cry. While standing outside, occasionally she says I destroy her plants. Then she gets me with a hanger or a feather duster.
3) I wouldn’t eat, I spit out food, wouldn’t sleep, needs to be carried around until 2am.Only eats imported biscuits (you’d have to lie to me and tell me its imported, or else I’ll just roll and play with the biscuits).My dad has to come home from work urgently to look after me because my mum gives up from time to time. And I torture maids. And constantly wore my Citara(from Thundercats) paper mask around the house.4) I used to go to grandma’s a lot. So I ended up calling her mum and called my mum aunty. “I don’t wanna go back to auntyyyyy’ (the only time I’ll cry)
5) I carried my 2 month year old sister (3rd sister), from the cot and left her on the bed like a stuff toy (don't know if I had used one hand or both hands, can't remember). I was 6. And I told my mum about it humorously. She ran to check if my sister was ok.Then I had to stand outside again.6) One evening, I was playing at my neighbours place, and she had called me 'black girl'. OMG. What a wrong move. So I pushed her into the drain and her dad came to my house and scolded me and told my mother you better reprimand your daughter.
---> I was bigger than most kids my age.
7) When I was in first grade, the school bus had left me so I walked home. And my mother cried thinking what happened to me because I wasn't home for nearly an hour.
8) I used to play lastic (roll a piece of paper real tight) and shoot it at a person with a rubber band (you can bleed), take bed sheets and make a tent and sleep in there. Collected all the thunder cats and he-man toys.
9) Once when we driving around in the car, in many instances, I just got pissed off for no reason and threw a set of house keys out of the window in the moving vehicle. Dad had to stop in the highway and look for the keys. Then I guess he yelled at me.
10) I called my mum’s aunty who’s name is Edith 'idiot'.
11) We used to visit a family friend and I would take her teenage daughters lipstick and put it all over my face and break things in her room.
A major breakthrough occurred when I was slightly older: The Cane.
My uncle and i-Now don't blame me for my drinking habits.
My truthful first love. Popeye the sailor man
Lots more. But before you think I' am a seemingly ill-disciplined creature, I’ll stop here.
In the end, we all lived happily ever after and I discretionarily morphed into this nice, polite and quiet girl.
The culture in meMonday, September 24, 2007
Emotional Rescue
I had many drafts for this post simply because I have some things I want to write but nothing is coming out quite right because my tummy is killing me and I ran out of Panadol menstrual…ahhhhhhh
What's a dilemma? Not like in Nelly and Kelly dilemma, but like a real ass one. I have had too many things to hear of late that just makes me wonder about life, love and people. It all actually boils down to the strength and power of letting go because of life’s unexpectancies .Say for example, a man and a woman married for like forever 20 years? And then he strays for many reasons or that it’s just that he is an adulterous SOB. The love you thought you once had and thought that it would never change...changes..it does happen. We just need to identify with this. Your wife dies and leaves you hanging with 4 kids or even a good friend on his/her death bed gets up and gets well(miracles do happen as well)..or random stuff that hits you and clouds every damn thing that you had planned out or screws up your plan or wishes....change for better or worse.
I want to talk about emotional flexibility (it eats up emotional intelligence)..Speaking from an emo rubble case myself, everyone needs an eye opener from time to time. Learning to accept the fact that IT CAN HAPPEN, hope and to not bring the past into the future and let go and live our best lives. All the what if’s should be well thought-out and read into, to a certain extent and not pushed away......the better we become.
Do not switch off the red light.
Okay that's the sappy part of this entry, but now, I would like to share with you stuff you did not know about me. I think.
1. Sunny beach holidays sipping pina caloda enjoying the beach and sun. DON’T BOTHER CALLING me, because I’ am extremely vain about my skin colour. I hate the sun. It makes me darker than I already am. My colour is precious. So yeah, no sun block it does not work.
2. I’ am breaking the cycle by going to the gym every Mondays, Thursdays and Sundays, eating healthy and etc. Mondays and Thursdays is spinning class where I get dog breathless and Sunday is light weight training. Think Charlize think Charlize..
5. If there’s one thing that makes me puke, its mayonnaise.hate it with all my heart. I stare at the burger man if he forgets I said’ no mayo please’....he is scared of me now.
6. I’ am entertained with the I want a fat babe song by the snackstreet boys, a remake of I want it that way by the backstreet boys.
7. I’ am not photogenic but I’ am a vain pot. Not ashamed to admit that.
8. I will not be caught dead wearing a bra without pads or pushed up.
9. I’ am afraid of intimacy.
10. I’ am in love with Madonna because she holds the flag of beauty has no age limit!
It’s officially day 2 of the menstruating cycle.
What's a dilemma? Not like in Nelly and Kelly dilemma, but like a real ass one. I have had too many things to hear of late that just makes me wonder about life, love and people. It all actually boils down to the strength and power of letting go because of life’s unexpectancies .Say for example, a man and a woman married for like forever 20 years? And then he strays for many reasons or that it’s just that he is an adulterous SOB. The love you thought you once had and thought that it would never change...changes..it does happen. We just need to identify with this. Your wife dies and leaves you hanging with 4 kids or even a good friend on his/her death bed gets up and gets well(miracles do happen as well)..or random stuff that hits you and clouds every damn thing that you had planned out or screws up your plan or wishes....change for better or worse.
I want to talk about emotional flexibility (it eats up emotional intelligence)..Speaking from an emo rubble case myself, everyone needs an eye opener from time to time. Learning to accept the fact that IT CAN HAPPEN, hope and to not bring the past into the future and let go and live our best lives. All the what if’s should be well thought-out and read into, to a certain extent and not pushed away......the better we become.
Do not switch off the red light.
Okay that's the sappy part of this entry, but now, I would like to share with you stuff you did not know about me. I think.
1. Sunny beach holidays sipping pina caloda enjoying the beach and sun. DON’T BOTHER CALLING me, because I’ am extremely vain about my skin colour. I hate the sun. It makes me darker than I already am. My colour is precious. So yeah, no sun block it does not work.
2. I’ am breaking the cycle by going to the gym every Mondays, Thursdays and Sundays, eating healthy and etc. Mondays and Thursdays is spinning class where I get dog breathless and Sunday is light weight training. Think Charlize think Charlize..
Just so, if I ever had a daughter and she turns out like Charlize for some reason.....you know, she can go around singing ‘ I got it from my mama..uhhh yeah yeah I gottt it from my mama’
3. I sometimes could not be arsed about the VPL code. Visible Panty Line. And wear whatever grannies I have (my fav) as I hate thongs (never thought it was sexy in any way at all).I don’t only have grannies, i have those other boy shorts and etc. Relationship blunders.Just you picture me wearing a grandma panty doing some serious seductive singing to Gwen Stefani's ' can i have it like that, you got it like that'....ah ah ah...'can i have it like that, you got it like that' - now we talking steamy foreplay baby.
No VPL
5. If there’s one thing that makes me puke, its mayonnaise.hate it with all my heart. I stare at the burger man if he forgets I said’ no mayo please’....he is scared of me now.
6. I’ am entertained with the I want a fat babe song by the snackstreet boys, a remake of I want it that way by the backstreet boys.
7. I’ am not photogenic but I’ am a vain pot. Not ashamed to admit that.
8. I will not be caught dead wearing a bra without pads or pushed up.
9. I’ am afraid of intimacy.
10. I’ am in love with Madonna because she holds the flag of beauty has no age limit!
It’s officially day 2 of the menstruating cycle.
Wild thoughts of me.
Nalina.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2cr3liOoEw
Friday, September 14, 2007
Bittersweet
Next week would mark my last day with KPMG and I’ am kind of having mixed feelings. I don’t really want to vent this out as I haven’t found the right words to describe how I feel.Yup, I haven’t found the right words to express how I really feel. Remembering my first interesting day and now and how time has passed so quickly, I can still remember my first assignment at Petronas as a junior and - good times. I’am rather lucky to be in Dept A7 (could be a contradicting) statement, but I’am talking on a whole different circumstance altogether. The need for basic forgiveness is essential (flexible).
Friends we have made or lost. Things learnt. How we grew. Found the right chemistry amongst a few and kept that or even lost that (situational sometimes). Finger pointing. I’am bad. You are bad. I hate you. I like you. You came in late today. Have you filled in your timesheet? Have you paid for the trip? Where we going for lunch today. Hey just send out an email saying I’am on medical today. Lunches up till 4pm. MIA (learnt from the best, sorry). I hate that person I’am gonna kill him and make it look like an accident. That ass hasn’t reviewed my file yet. Shit, 19 pages of queries. I’am sleepy. Anybody got any food. Why don’t people ever cooperate silently. Just open up my PC and mess my place up a lil, I’am still sleeping will come in as soon. I was at a clients?! Can you speak English? Hey who got caught having sex in the stairway?! Is our pay in yet?. Why so late?. Don’t make this a habit, work starts at 9am latest. I have claimed as much as the budget can burst itself. 200 more days my last day. Can’t take it. Its your birthdayyyyy. Wheres the WIP?. Partners. I want the accounts NOW. Outstanding outstanding outstanding ok. Urgent. Yayy I’am going for training. The Best: MY DL KPMG GLOBAL( who took my ruler?). Estate visits. Debit the window and credit my fingernails. Follow ups. MC Hammer. EL Kings and Queens. I miss my secretary and the other one has a built in amplifier in her throat. LOUD. Stop chatting or interneting all day, do some work as well. Who took my cable?. A lot more profanity involved. Do not touch my coffee. Does it look like my cubicle is a one stop stationery savior. Can you print?
I did not add any grizzle.
The simple life with KPMG.
I was clearing up my inbox and found an email from an ex-staff working with me at that time:
Baby, I tried doing the tax, but the cibai part is the thing just refuse to tie, pukimak cibai lanciau fucker... you have a look at it cos I checked a couple of times but still couldn’t see the light, hehehe. However, those boxes I highlighted in turquoise need input from client (esp those interest restrictions). Can you get the info form client for me, thanks? I be doing my medical checkup in the morning, and be coming back ard noon to do my clearance and play phantasm with this tax.Do take a look at Yvonne fatty’s template, her one runs too, but not as much as mine, hehehe.
I’ll give you (those of you know who) 3 guesses who sent me that. But you’ll only need one.
My last trip with them,half gone anyway. Photos from cherating.
Hani and I.
.JPG)
Again.
.JPG)
Whatever thats left.
When Harry met Sally.
Games.
Gangstahs paradise: The Wu Tang Clan.
Haaraj and me.
Group Pic.
Beach play.
Games again.
Uhmmm.Interesting games.
Before bus ride.
'Nah, not like daddy.No way'
Futsal- Team Malaysia.
Goallll.
Goal again.
Haaraj and I.
Nice nice.
Random.
Poll dancing gone very wrong.
I tried again.
Posers.
Hani and Fadzli.
Me and Sinny.
Food.
Jumppppp.
Where are you Charlie? Your angels on the loose.
If you (my colleagues are reading this), I would like to say that journalism is a risk.
End.
Friends we have made or lost. Things learnt. How we grew. Found the right chemistry amongst a few and kept that or even lost that (situational sometimes). Finger pointing. I’am bad. You are bad. I hate you. I like you. You came in late today. Have you filled in your timesheet? Have you paid for the trip? Where we going for lunch today. Hey just send out an email saying I’am on medical today. Lunches up till 4pm. MIA (learnt from the best, sorry). I hate that person I’am gonna kill him and make it look like an accident. That ass hasn’t reviewed my file yet. Shit, 19 pages of queries. I’am sleepy. Anybody got any food. Why don’t people ever cooperate silently. Just open up my PC and mess my place up a lil, I’am still sleeping will come in as soon. I was at a clients?! Can you speak English? Hey who got caught having sex in the stairway?! Is our pay in yet?. Why so late?. Don’t make this a habit, work starts at 9am latest. I have claimed as much as the budget can burst itself. 200 more days my last day. Can’t take it. Its your birthdayyyyy. Wheres the WIP?. Partners. I want the accounts NOW. Outstanding outstanding outstanding ok. Urgent. Yayy I’am going for training. The Best: MY DL KPMG GLOBAL( who took my ruler?). Estate visits. Debit the window and credit my fingernails. Follow ups. MC Hammer. EL Kings and Queens. I miss my secretary and the other one has a built in amplifier in her throat. LOUD. Stop chatting or interneting all day, do some work as well. Who took my cable?. A lot more profanity involved. Do not touch my coffee. Does it look like my cubicle is a one stop stationery savior. Can you print?
I did not add any grizzle.
The simple life with KPMG.
I was clearing up my inbox and found an email from an ex-staff working with me at that time:
Baby, I tried doing the tax, but the cibai part is the thing just refuse to tie, pukimak cibai lanciau fucker... you have a look at it cos I checked a couple of times but still couldn’t see the light, hehehe. However, those boxes I highlighted in turquoise need input from client (esp those interest restrictions). Can you get the info form client for me, thanks? I be doing my medical checkup in the morning, and be coming back ard noon to do my clearance and play phantasm with this tax.Do take a look at Yvonne fatty’s template, her one runs too, but not as much as mine, hehehe.
I’ll give you (those of you know who) 3 guesses who sent me that. But you’ll only need one.
My last trip with them,half gone anyway. Photos from cherating.
Hani and I.
.JPG)
Again..JPG)
Whatever thats left.
When Harry met Sally.
Games.
Gangstahs paradise: The Wu Tang Clan.
Haaraj and me.
Group Pic.
Beach play.
Games again.
Uhmmm.Interesting games.
Before bus ride.
'Nah, not like daddy.No way'
Futsal- Team Malaysia.
Goallll.
Goal again.
Haaraj and I.
Nice nice.
Random.
Poll dancing gone very wrong.
I tried again.
Posers.
Hani and Fadzli.
Me and Sinny.Food.
Jumppppp.
Where are you Charlie? Your angels on the loose.
Sin Han loves animals.No intention of hurting them.
If you (my colleagues are reading this), I would like to say that journalism is a risk.
End.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Bear Tales
Okay....I know I told a few people that I’d write about my trip to Cherating last weekend...but....I simply have to talk about more important things.
A nervous breakdown.
Have any of you experienced a proper nervous breakdown before?
As per Wikipedia, a nervous breakdown - is a non-medical term used to describe a sudden, acute attack of mental illness such as depression or anxiety. When used in common social discourse, the term often has pejorative connotations.
Specific cases are usually described as a "breakdown" only after a person becomes unable to function in day-to-day life due to mental illness. At that point the person's condition is advanced, and seeking professional aid is likely advisable.
Like the term “sanity,” the terms "nervous breakdown" and "mental breakdown" have no medical definition and are not used in a clinical sense. However, the medical or personal problems precipitating a sudden breakdown may well benefit from professional medical or psychological treatment.
A mental breakdown is not the same as a panic attack, though mental breakdowns can trigger panic
And now, instances of where I think I had a nervous breakdown.
Recently,
1) At Zara, my favourite clothing store, because it fits me nice, it fits me well. I’am tall and it accommodates taller people. No other place in Nalina world.
One beautiful morning, when I realised I had to get more work clothes, I skipped work to attack Zara and was eyeing this dress on display and wanted to try it on.
Me: Can I have that in size M please. (Like royalty, with a lot of confidence)
Sales girl: Sure thing
Me: Thanks (I have always been a size M from the time I hit puberty)
As I was trying it on. I realised it got stuck and kept getting stuck at my breathtaking Indian hips and with a lot of force I still could not gracefully slip it up. Ahhhh...a jolt of light came through me.....ting!!!....This size M is not actually a M.....change for another size M.
Me: Could I have another M please. I think this ones a defect.Mood messed up at this point.
Sales girl: Looked me from top to bottom and sarcastically said ‘Ok sure’
Me: I gave her my how would you like your slap face.
Still can’t fit into it
Me: About to get into a bitch fit, ‘Can I have a few more size Ms please'.
Sales girl: Ok
Can’t get into them either. Tough times.
Sales girl: Looking alarmed. and fired a question. Ma’am, how about if I got you a size L instead?. Saying this like you know like’ Hey why don’t you get a size L? Size L yours to enjoy you large woman…’
Me: Wide eyed near bitch fit. wanna slap you little midget face if you say another word. difficulties breathing while i can feel cold sweat on my face. and trying to blink. eyes still wide open at the echoing sounds of SIZE L in my head.
-----> Thats right. My first proper nervous breakdown.Social stress.Not able to cope with the change of size from M to L.
2) The night I had quit my job (again with confidence) without another job and blamed it on career burnout.
3) When I was 14 and Jon Bon Jovi came to Malaysia, my parents refused to allow me to go see him because I had term exams. Even when I rolled on the carpet from one end to the other kicking and screaming.....’ Pleaseeeee pleaseeeee let me go or I’ll just dieeeeeee’
4) When someone in my extended family told me that I have no talent and I’am not smart at all. He is old. SO I forgive him. Or else, I would have hurt him badly. There has to be something I’am good at right? God made every one different and unique. You know what. I can draw like Picasso. ( Just ask Prianna for confirmation, she’ll tell you)
That’s all for now.
Foreseeable nervous breakdown - At my new company. I’am quite sure of that.
‘You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm’ – Colette
Seriously, I have regained all my self worth after that quote.
A nervous breakdown.
Have any of you experienced a proper nervous breakdown before?
As per Wikipedia, a nervous breakdown - is a non-medical term used to describe a sudden, acute attack of mental illness such as depression or anxiety. When used in common social discourse, the term often has pejorative connotations.
Specific cases are usually described as a "breakdown" only after a person becomes unable to function in day-to-day life due to mental illness. At that point the person's condition is advanced, and seeking professional aid is likely advisable.
Like the term “sanity,” the terms "nervous breakdown" and "mental breakdown" have no medical definition and are not used in a clinical sense. However, the medical or personal problems precipitating a sudden breakdown may well benefit from professional medical or psychological treatment.
A mental breakdown is not the same as a panic attack, though mental breakdowns can trigger panic
And now, instances of where I think I had a nervous breakdown.
Recently,
1) At Zara, my favourite clothing store, because it fits me nice, it fits me well. I’am tall and it accommodates taller people. No other place in Nalina world.
One beautiful morning, when I realised I had to get more work clothes, I skipped work to attack Zara and was eyeing this dress on display and wanted to try it on.
Me: Can I have that in size M please. (Like royalty, with a lot of confidence)
Sales girl: Sure thing
Me: Thanks (I have always been a size M from the time I hit puberty)
As I was trying it on. I realised it got stuck and kept getting stuck at my breathtaking Indian hips and with a lot of force I still could not gracefully slip it up. Ahhhh...a jolt of light came through me.....ting!!!....This size M is not actually a M.....change for another size M.
Me: Could I have another M please. I think this ones a defect.Mood messed up at this point.
Sales girl: Looked me from top to bottom and sarcastically said ‘Ok sure’
Me: I gave her my how would you like your slap face.
Still can’t fit into it
Me: About to get into a bitch fit, ‘Can I have a few more size Ms please'.
Sales girl: Ok
Can’t get into them either. Tough times.
Sales girl: Looking alarmed. and fired a question. Ma’am, how about if I got you a size L instead?. Saying this like you know like’ Hey why don’t you get a size L? Size L yours to enjoy you large woman…’
Me: Wide eyed near bitch fit. wanna slap you little midget face if you say another word. difficulties breathing while i can feel cold sweat on my face. and trying to blink. eyes still wide open at the echoing sounds of SIZE L in my head.
-----> Thats right. My first proper nervous breakdown.Social stress.Not able to cope with the change of size from M to L.
2) The night I had quit my job (again with confidence) without another job and blamed it on career burnout.
3) When I was 14 and Jon Bon Jovi came to Malaysia, my parents refused to allow me to go see him because I had term exams. Even when I rolled on the carpet from one end to the other kicking and screaming.....’ Pleaseeeee pleaseeeee let me go or I’ll just dieeeeeee’
4) When someone in my extended family told me that I have no talent and I’am not smart at all. He is old. SO I forgive him. Or else, I would have hurt him badly. There has to be something I’am good at right? God made every one different and unique. You know what. I can draw like Picasso. ( Just ask Prianna for confirmation, she’ll tell you)
That’s all for now.
Foreseeable nervous breakdown - At my new company. I’am quite sure of that.
‘You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm’ – Colette
Seriously, I have regained all my self worth after that quote.
Friday, August 31, 2007
The job I want. The life I want: Fancy a new job with a piss pay?
I will stop with the ‘yo momma so fat’ jokes at some point. Right now, that’s entertaining me. My mind looks to being in a state of dangerous disarray.
Recent 5 minute conversation between me and the allegedly new employer. (Bear in mind: I don’t earn a good salary and nor do I have a lovely apartment next to KLCC)
HR: Nalina, how soon can you start?
Nalina: As soon as possible.
HR: Ok good, now with regards to your pay, and looking at what you asked for, is RM XXXX fine with you?
Nalina: WHATTTTTTTTTT???? Why-don’t-you-go-fuck-a-spider?!?!? Uhmm, maam, was that what I wrote?
HR: Hehehhehehehhahah...no no...but I assure you, you are being paid higher than most employees your level and even higher than a 31 year old employee with us, if that makes you feel comfortable.
Nalina: What is he the janitor?...Uhmmmm ok...Can’t you increase it, as my workload is going to be quite massive and the late nights you know. I need to be compensated. Because sometimes I feel I’am the servant to the world.
HR: She laughed like papa smurf. I swear it was a papa smurf laugh. No, that’s the last.
Nalina: Let me get back to you in a few days?
HR: Okay sure.
Nalina: Thank you.
My dad is going to pay for this, as it is his GOOD friend’s company and he had pulled some strings for me to get an interview. I’ am going to go crazy. He told me they pay well. It’s even lower than my current employer. Hence the thought of go fuck a spider. One wonders why.
Operation piss my dad off on a Friday afternoon. Taking a short break from operation slutto.Happy Merdeka.
Me: I want to work for UN. Quick do your thing.
Dad: Raises eyebrows.....Huh?
Me: Please don’t laugh, but I want to join the UN, how to join the UN? What do I need to do/have?
Dad: What?
Me: Oh Lord......I wanna join UNNNNNN.
Dad: Why?
Me: World peace.
Dad: Are you all right?
Me: I’ am A-OK.
Dad: So why all of a sudden UN?
Me: World peace. (now please picture my idiot face when i said this)
Then I understood I had to be a little bit meatier with my description.
Me: I just want to help. Make this world a better place. Too many civilians dying, enless bloodbath, chaotic middle east, you know world peace daddy cool? Innocent lives, stupid governments, security councils my ass, terrorism, better food/education programme I WILLLL DOO ITTTTTT....UN’s failure here and there. I wanna do somethinggg…how many people rely on UN relief agencies to survive....you know..?
Dad: How did you become sooooo humanitarian all of a sudden?
Me: I have always been........I didn’t murder my boss, I’ am saddened by Saddam’s execution, you have no right to take a person’s life. And the disgusting videos of that circulating on the internet. Let the man at least die in peace. There must have been something good he did to at least deserve this. They mocked him to death and his hanging corpse as well. Not an ounce of remorse. It’s only natural for me to be saddened by such a thing. I mean I do realise he is the perfect villain of all times. I just lost my appetite with all this. The day I lost my appetite was the day I realised I’d become humanitarian.
Dad: Laughs, don’t be funny, can you take me to TMC (grocery store) ah? I need to get some things.
Me: How serious people take me sometimes. Where is your optimism.
Me: I don’t know the way to TMC. Ask Saritha(my lazy fat sister)
.....................
A little perspective would be good.
I would have been a good teacher or a good psychologist.I'am the accidental accountant.I just know it.
Write me up as weird or loserville potential or why do i always seem to write about conversations between me and dad. I don’t really care. As always.
To uphold the next Olympics, it appears that China wanted to improve their English....Uhmmm.......So far so good.
Picture: China and English.
Sense of unease,
Nelly.
Recent 5 minute conversation between me and the allegedly new employer. (Bear in mind: I don’t earn a good salary and nor do I have a lovely apartment next to KLCC)
HR: Nalina, how soon can you start?
Nalina: As soon as possible.
HR: Ok good, now with regards to your pay, and looking at what you asked for, is RM XXXX fine with you?
Nalina: WHATTTTTTTTTT???? Why-don’t-you-go-fuck-a-spider?!?!? Uhmm, maam, was that what I wrote?
HR: Hehehhehehehhahah...no no...but I assure you, you are being paid higher than most employees your level and even higher than a 31 year old employee with us, if that makes you feel comfortable.
Nalina: What is he the janitor?...Uhmmmm ok...Can’t you increase it, as my workload is going to be quite massive and the late nights you know. I need to be compensated. Because sometimes I feel I’am the servant to the world.
HR: She laughed like papa smurf. I swear it was a papa smurf laugh. No, that’s the last.
Nalina: Let me get back to you in a few days?
HR: Okay sure.
Nalina: Thank you.
My dad is going to pay for this, as it is his GOOD friend’s company and he had pulled some strings for me to get an interview. I’ am going to go crazy. He told me they pay well. It’s even lower than my current employer. Hence the thought of go fuck a spider. One wonders why.
Operation piss my dad off on a Friday afternoon. Taking a short break from operation slutto.Happy Merdeka.
Me: I want to work for UN. Quick do your thing.
Dad: Raises eyebrows.....Huh?
Me: Please don’t laugh, but I want to join the UN, how to join the UN? What do I need to do/have?
Dad: What?
Me: Oh Lord......I wanna join UNNNNNN.
Dad: Why?
Me: World peace.
Dad: Are you all right?
Me: I’ am A-OK.
Dad: So why all of a sudden UN?
Me: World peace. (now please picture my idiot face when i said this)
Then I understood I had to be a little bit meatier with my description.
Me: I just want to help. Make this world a better place. Too many civilians dying, enless bloodbath, chaotic middle east, you know world peace daddy cool? Innocent lives, stupid governments, security councils my ass, terrorism, better food/education programme I WILLLL DOO ITTTTTT....UN’s failure here and there. I wanna do somethinggg…how many people rely on UN relief agencies to survive....you know..?
Dad: How did you become sooooo humanitarian all of a sudden?
Me: I have always been........I didn’t murder my boss, I’ am saddened by Saddam’s execution, you have no right to take a person’s life. And the disgusting videos of that circulating on the internet. Let the man at least die in peace. There must have been something good he did to at least deserve this. They mocked him to death and his hanging corpse as well. Not an ounce of remorse. It’s only natural for me to be saddened by such a thing. I mean I do realise he is the perfect villain of all times. I just lost my appetite with all this. The day I lost my appetite was the day I realised I’d become humanitarian.
Dad: Laughs, don’t be funny, can you take me to TMC (grocery store) ah? I need to get some things.
Me: How serious people take me sometimes. Where is your optimism.
Me: I don’t know the way to TMC. Ask Saritha(my lazy fat sister)
.....................
A little perspective would be good.
I would have been a good teacher or a good psychologist.I'am the accidental accountant.I just know it.
Write me up as weird or loserville potential or why do i always seem to write about conversations between me and dad. I don’t really care. As always.
To uphold the next Olympics, it appears that China wanted to improve their English....Uhmmm.......So far so good.
Picture: China and English.
Sense of unease,
Nelly.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Yet another estate.
Picture of the palm oil estate.
Picture caption: I'am so a town person
Picture of the office
Picture caption: Sophistication at its best
Thinking of something intellectual to write, I just remembered I’ve got some grisly pictures of the estate that I audited (yes I’am still with KPMG, just for another 2 more months). I have been doing these estate audits at least once a year(Sarawak,Johor and etc)Palm oil estates. For those of you, who do not know what this is, please click on the link below.
2) You need to hold your pee/whatever else until you reach the hotel.
3) Refer to no.2 – I get this huge repulsion when asked to use public toilets- even if it is a matter of life and death. I assume you would be able to make out the unbelievable condition of the toilets after looking at the pictures above. Only-if-iam-dying.Maybe.
4) Did I mention constipation? - refer point 2 and 3.
5) You need to speak ‘Kampung’ Malay- ‘Kampung’ means village. (Does not really help when you town Malay sucks crap( I mixed up saya and aku(rude)-both means’me’, and kamu and engkau(rude)-both means ‘you’- I fall into the impolite category, which usually gets me filthy stares, along with my propensity of smiling from ear to ear after that.
6) You get fat – because they constantly feed you this yummy food and I’am, as you would expect, a greedy pig.
7) You can’t wear anything that is too low cut, as it is a ‘kampung’ area. No hard feelings. It’s just that they are likely to go crazy sometimes.
And they say they’ll look after you and give you first class treatment.See below.My transportation.We got picked up in this.Pimp my ride?
I asked the driver to turn on the radio and then I looked at the speakers and he smiled.
On the way home( windows were broken-quite windy)
Almost there
Home
Lets not get into where we stayed or had lunch at.
You need to get into the estate by 9am, but I’am only up by 8:30, so I’am there at 10. After work, you ought to tell your juniors to continue working, so you save time on the workload the next day...but...I tell them....” lets go to the DVD shop and buy Prison Break and Desperate Housewives”.....then we can all watch!!!!’’....kids, think about tomorrow when it comes, it’s another day, so don’t worry about that today.Geez.Lighten up.
The next day = pulling out all my hair in stress, looking like Einstein trying to get things done before its time to go home.
This is as far as intellectual and I can go darling : )
I found a book in my sister's drawer that made me stiff and think about myself. It wasn’t sweet valley high, as I’d imagine, but it was “ Mein Kampf”, written by Adolf Hitler, in jail..his political ideals,his beliefs and motivation,and his struggle to consolidate Germany into one great nation.( I just read the back of the book)..Enough for me to know what the heck it is.SHIT MAN. My sister reads that. I think. It could be just there. You know, not hers.
......
I’ll write about Malaysia’s independence after this. Or the stock market crash after this.Or..ohhh shut up I’am going to sleep now.
I need to be on a stern diet- look at my arms, quadruple chin and cheeks : ‘(
Photo caption: a picture tells you a thousand words. In this case only yells 4- FATTY LOOSE SOME WEIGHT.
Sudden craving: Dried chilli pan mee with vegetable soup followed by nutella and vanilla ice cream. Uhhhh heavennn is a placeee on earthhhh.
Bye.
Picture caption: I'am so a town person
Picture of the officePicture caption: Sophistication at its best
Thinking of something intellectual to write, I just remembered I’ve got some grisly pictures of the estate that I audited (yes I’am still with KPMG, just for another 2 more months). I have been doing these estate audits at least once a year(Sarawak,Johor and etc)Palm oil estates. For those of you, who do not know what this is, please click on the link below.What to expect while you’re there:-
1) To all comers: Red ants crawling up freely in your jeans and possibly into your underpants.
1) To all comers: Red ants crawling up freely in your jeans and possibly into your underpants.
2) You need to hold your pee/whatever else until you reach the hotel.
3) Refer to no.2 – I get this huge repulsion when asked to use public toilets- even if it is a matter of life and death. I assume you would be able to make out the unbelievable condition of the toilets after looking at the pictures above. Only-if-iam-dying.Maybe.
4) Did I mention constipation? - refer point 2 and 3.
5) You need to speak ‘Kampung’ Malay- ‘Kampung’ means village. (Does not really help when you town Malay sucks crap( I mixed up saya and aku(rude)-both means’me’, and kamu and engkau(rude)-both means ‘you’- I fall into the impolite category, which usually gets me filthy stares, along with my propensity of smiling from ear to ear after that.
6) You get fat – because they constantly feed you this yummy food and I’am, as you would expect, a greedy pig.
7) You can’t wear anything that is too low cut, as it is a ‘kampung’ area. No hard feelings. It’s just that they are likely to go crazy sometimes.
And they say they’ll look after you and give you first class treatment.See below.My transportation.We got picked up in this.Pimp my ride?
I asked the driver to turn on the radio and then I looked at the speakers and he smiled.
On the way home( windows were broken-quite windy)
Almost there
Home
Lets not get into where we stayed or had lunch at.
You need to get into the estate by 9am, but I’am only up by 8:30, so I’am there at 10. After work, you ought to tell your juniors to continue working, so you save time on the workload the next day...but...I tell them....” lets go to the DVD shop and buy Prison Break and Desperate Housewives”.....then we can all watch!!!!’’....kids, think about tomorrow when it comes, it’s another day, so don’t worry about that today.Geez.Lighten up.
The next day = pulling out all my hair in stress, looking like Einstein trying to get things done before its time to go home.
This is as far as intellectual and I can go darling : )
I found a book in my sister's drawer that made me stiff and think about myself. It wasn’t sweet valley high, as I’d imagine, but it was “ Mein Kampf”, written by Adolf Hitler, in jail..his political ideals,his beliefs and motivation,and his struggle to consolidate Germany into one great nation.( I just read the back of the book)..Enough for me to know what the heck it is.SHIT MAN. My sister reads that. I think. It could be just there. You know, not hers.
......
I’ll write about Malaysia’s independence after this. Or the stock market crash after this.Or..ohhh shut up I’am going to sleep now.
I need to be on a stern diet- look at my arms, quadruple chin and cheeks : ‘(
Photo caption: a picture tells you a thousand words. In this case only yells 4- FATTY LOOSE SOME WEIGHT.
Sudden craving: Dried chilli pan mee with vegetable soup followed by nutella and vanilla ice cream. Uhhhh heavennn is a placeee on earthhhh.Bye.
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