28th annual report yo.

Faith as you like it.

You can learn a lot about the gods from my grandma (a natural dramatist) and the essence of her generation.

When I was younger, grandma told me that there’s only one god, which came in different forms. This is still my all time favourite. I stared at the Lord Ganesha statue next to my TV yesterday and was wondering why it is there? Does it have an effect on me? It does. Somehow. It is a way of life that sharpens you? I can pray anywhere. And there is a god. And everything else is what you belief. But what I cannot believe is....am 28. How life has changed :)

The fascinating part of all this is boo hoo....am 28.

Let’s change the tone a little shall we. Not as vivid as before ;)

Take note as the night steps forward, my good sense starts to weaken.I digress.

That’s just cake all over my face. How so very childish

Nalina at 28: Still unashamed and none the wiser….

Oh if you wanna love me then darlin’ don’t refrain..

Any kind of felony I shall bring you in for questioning,

Police peace officer.

RECLAIM THE KOP

"Only to win trophies " stand and make our Anfield proud!

Identification of what matters

The great question which I have not been able to answer, despite my 30 years of research into the feminine soul, is "what does a woman want"?
- Sigmund Freud

Do we actually know what we’re worth? We should. Recognise it.

In a relaxed conversation with a friend over coffee…she asked me, what happened to me? Why have I changed so much? Why have I mellowed down? Why is it ok to live alone? Why is it ok to be without any real family and friends? Why is it ok to be without a man? What kind of man are you looking for? Don’t you get lonely? Why did you turn down the 2 men I tried to set you up with?

All these questions, over and over again by so many different people. Only because I’m young, single and maybe not too ugly. Please note, at 27, there is no such thing as arrogance in knowing what you want. I have lost the keenness to jump at opportunities as they come, to seize the moment even if it never comes again because I have the end in mind. I don’t truly believe in the twist of fate. And lust is just an illusion. Dancing with illusions is risky business. I might come across a tad bit cocky but after years of all sorts of association with men i know what I really want. If I don’t get it. That’s fine. If i do, i won't date them, I'll give myself away to that. So, let me elucidate.

I finally have answers. You don’t have to read between the lines…I’ll lay it out for you. I can explain. I cannot identify with simple men anymore. I don’t like men who just thread water. I need depth. I don’t want to just ‘settle’ because I don’t easily collapse. I need him to believe in the same things I believe in. It’s not about innocence and rawness in the man’s actions towards a lady in every way. It’s about his sense and intent. I want a man more than a boy. I want realism.

Today, I pay my own bills, I make sure the house is spick and span at all times, all on my own. I have no qualms being the soldier of the home. Besides you know, and in a non-money oriented way, what else can a man do for me that I can’t do for myself?

I cannot put this in my own words…so I shall quote.

"I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life. I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive, he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a help mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself"

And that's all. And I applaud these men.

Then I told her, I reminded her….that it isn’t all about the outer shell, that electromagnetic pull or that gentleman aura..…other than….I don’t like sloppy and unfit men who cannot carry themselves well, only because you can do something about it.

I hope this is comprehensible my darlings.

Besides, I miss my sister and Suzie and my daddy.

Easter Happenings at St Kilda.

Charlie Charlie!!!...Look, your angels on the loose

Politics of the fragile mind: Sound and Fury

I'm back. *Insert Rambo theme song here*

Have you ever wondered if it is possible to get into the intricate mechanism of the human mind? To see what’s actually going on in there? I can’t figure it out. Sometimes I feel a certain way and the very next minute I feel something else. I’ll give you a few examples:-

1) I have a conversation with say person X, a total stranger and in the midst of the simple conversation I think this person is good and perfect and make images in my head about how good this person is. When in actual fact, I know nothing about this person. How do we know when a stranger is a good friend, very good friend, irksome monkeys (I know a few) or toxic?

2) There are only a few people whom I know will never wind me up. Sometimes I don’t know why I feel total dislike for people whom I call friends.

3) I may have a point after all. I decided to teach my mind to behave. Separation of powers: The mind and the freaking everyday practice. The most alarming feature the mind is that it sees bad as good and good as bad. Help me. The devil always fools us.

I just want to tell you, being a million miles away from everyone, I had a lot of time to feel and I only seem to initiate contact with people I actually like?! That’s it. I mean, come on, I don’t suck at keeping in touch. If I’m not keeping in touch, I don’t like you. Simple? Once again, if only I knew.

Now, I need some advice on forgiveness. I sometimes can see the good in some more than the bad and I believe there is hope in fixing them up, because deem down your inner instincts (which is very rarely ever wrong)..You know that this person is good and gone bad because he/she could not handle the pressing situation around coupled with wrong choices in life and whom you can call a total eff-up. I have done horrendous things to people before and I was given forgiveness…so, why can’t I forgive even if the damage is more than you can imagine?

Giddy hopes.

That gave way to a period of disappointment which you dwell and dwell and have patchy thoughts and make no progress of fixing it. But the more immediate question is how much disruption will be caused by the changing of minds? Once again, the devil is alive.


Michelle my person is supposed to call me yesterday!! Hsiao Phin I miss you very much you Baywatch Glenhuntly.

In sum…..take it easy.

Oh, and Happy Birthday Roddie!!

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Loud Humping Bunnies.

This is the second bizarre thing that has happened to me since I moved in to the Upper Esplanade (My apartment). Don’t know if I told you about the 1st one.

First occurrence

It was just about 7am I think when I was leaving the house for work. My idiot sister Dhis was here with me at that time. I took the lift down (I live on the first floor and reject the damn stairs sometimes because I’m a natural sloth). In the lift I saw artful blood stains on one side of the lift. I had visions of CSI Miami flashing immediately. But I brushed it off and went on…opening the front door…there was blood stains all over the handle and glass pieces all on the ground….I thought…that was it. I’m going a little late to work and I need to unravel this at once. I put on my Sherlock hat and with full CSI mode..I headed to the bushes and the dustbin area to look for a dead body as I was so sure somebody was murdered in my building. Then I needed a little help and I woke Dhis up.

Me: Dhishy Dhisy get up!!!
Dhis: Unsteady as usual. What do you want?!
Me: I need help.
Dhis: For what?
Me: Someone was murdered. I need you to help me find the body.
Dhis: What the F is wrong with you?
She just thinks someone had a fight.
….

Fine I'll take matters into my own hands. There was too much blood for it to be just a fight. There was too much blood at wrong places. I searched the bushes, I searched the car park…
No luck.

Should I call the cops?

No.

I went to work a very troubled person.

---------->>

Now coming to the point of this blog. Humping Bunnies.

My bedroom faces the carpark and I hear, let's just call them Mr and Mrs Ride Machine. I hear them quarrelling at least once a week…like this…" You shut up you useless whore, I throw you outta any timeeeee"…"You bitch I burn you in your sleep and have you for breakfast"…"emma cut your thing off and feed it to the dogs"….etc etc….along those lines.

But also…of late….I hear other sounds….

You remember how Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm at a café in the movie When Harry Met Sally?...Yes basically it was all rompitiromp rumble rumble for the past week……last night…my sleep was affected by high pitched shrills with long intervals followed by giddy giggles and sighs and borderline weeps and I GET THE POINT THAT IT WAS HOT AND HEAVY.….I couldn't hear much of him at all…I could hear her…Ok I get the point…..Poor dry me went to bed at 2am.

Pity Me.

Just add a little sense.

The giant girl speaks.

Only because of the constant pressure for my baloney, I'll blog for you.

I once read this quote...''The heart has reasons that reasons cannot know'' See being a big ass fan of psychology and philosophy...I inundate myself with knowledge of people. Their behavior and repercussions that follow. So to say, shamelessly, I'm an expert. No one say anything. See, the blocks of ‘trust’, decency, comfort, responsibility and etc built firmly into this thing called a familiarity, just to watch it stumble does a lot of things to the base. But, I can see clearly now, that familiarity is bullshit and looking after your emotional needs is vital. I stand for self-interest.

I have absolutely no clue of what I'm saying and we are only on the first para.

Oh let me tell you, I have high hopes on winning the Herald Sun marathon run in November. I’m well on track for that- Not jogged or ran for months and still asthmatic, eating rubbish(Sara Lee French cream cheesecake is a bitch)...how to do this? I’ll go figure. I shall get it under control and stir the Melbourne runners with my natural athletic talent. I have to mention, I nearly broke my skull doing a long jump in school (note that long jumps usually don't involve your head)....don’t picture this, but let’s concentrate on athletic talents and high spirits. I was told that I’d reach the finish line, when the organisers start packing up and taking banners down....now I’m raged...I shall show. I shall show that I’m capable of running marathons and not just inventing cocktails.

New in my world – I’ve got a new toy. Hand phone which I have been playing with for the past two nights without fail. Makes me sooooooo happy. Shit. I’ve got to get a life at some point. I was this close to giving it a name, like how I gave Betsy (my old car) hers. Ohhhh Betsy, love of my life. Now it looks damaged and frightened by the entire family back home. Betsy, mummy is coming in November.

I’m so tempted to write about how the financial crisis is hitting me, but I thought I'd tell you about the day Liverpool takes the Cup. You see many of you Redpissonyourselvesdevil fans out there. We are about 13 games away and am so scared of the outcome of having to come into office to face the wrath. Every day. So please god, be on Liverpool’s side.

Have an awesome weekend all.

And Happy birthday Prianna!!! :)

Not made of wood.

-A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing.

-Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.

-Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

Oscar.

Right around my heart.

First let me start by saying a very happy new year to all you wonderful people out there. Blog friends are real friends :) I told myself today as I was contemplating on writing something...that I’d put my snide and cynic remarks in the closet and say what I really want to say in a plain way. Low key. Less Melodrama. Not my kind of style.FYI

It’s 2/1/09 and...yesterday as I stood at my balcony which I hardly ever .. it sort of faces the beach and watching different people go by in cars, trams and it suddenly gets a little dark...sunset up in St Kilda is freaking awesome..and I get great sunset view, palm trees and all that jazz from my balcony...I know you must be thinking..that lucky bitch..but somehow I felt kind of empty...an empty feeling.
I usually don’t get this blankness right to you..but living alone, somehow I have the courage to say it..perhaps it has always been there. Who knew? People always put what you like to see. Isn’t that life? You usually get an annual report on my birthday..but I thought I’d write it post news years day...How I feel about all sorts of shit...marriage, friends who are married, friends in relationships, friends that dying to be in one, people that hold on to blind love and etc.

I’m no expert.

But I know my shit.

I look back at my past relationships, crushes, almost relationships, frantic hookups and etc...with which none of them turned out to be all moonlight and roses. A very unfairy tale.

And I blamed everything on men.

http://nalinakiru.blog.friendster.com/2006/06/men/

(I remember writing that drunk..I thought it might improve my judgment)

It’s always their fault, men are such bastards, why do they exist? Can’t they just die a slow painful death? All these thoughts always crossed my mind...but hey who are we kidding here..But..just but...here me out...it could be me..it’s just..could be me..

a)It could be me with the problem.As I do not know all the dating/relationships 101s.

b) Perhaps it was god’s freaking hands. Knowing that it’s not the one and knowing that I’ll always be blind and never learn...he turns the bottle to end things just so I could steer clear of all the Mr. Wrongs.

Wanna throw up yet?

Through all the Mr. Wrongs. Tiring in it? Like a rehearsal. But hey I made progress. I have been moving up the shit pile. Still there...still shit...but getting better..

But I wouldn’t change anything. My past is a write off. I accept. If I were to turn back time, I’ll leave everything just the way it is..it wouldn’t have made me the person I’m today. I had to go through all that. Karma? But I’ll probably go with the ’they were never that into me’ theory. Should I be angry? No. You have turned men down have you not? Even if they were eating into your hands with enthusiasm.

Being careful is bullshit. There is no such thing as being careful in my vocabulary. The moment you like a boy/girl...game over....it’s like you’re diving into the unknown all over gain...we’re all swimming in risky waters the whole journey through. But no risk no gain. If start to tell you about ALL my emotional experience..I’d be the longest blogger on earth...so it’s best if I share what good came out of it..

Let me side track...this paragraph is dedicated to my good friend Appleglow. Appleglow was in an emotional trap recently and couldn’t get out of it. I mean, we all go there time and again.Sometimes things work out like crap for the best...If he was into you...he would be with you today...he wasn’t...so NEXT...and someone told me, in an emo trap...best way to flee is to take one step back...you’re taking 3 steps forward...gradually 2 steps back..6 steps forward..keep going Appleglow. THIS WILL PASS. It’s no fun hunny...but sometimes you got to eat the fruits of life and just let it GO..whatever....the settling of scores and etc..let it go...and MOVE...keep moving, you’ll forget about him...dance, sing(which Appleglow has a problem with), do stuff...keep moving...live....it’s there...it’s all there...and it’s not hard..You’ll know...don’t you want that ’intoxicating, inconvenient, can’t live without each other kind of love? I quote SATC..Love is NOT science fiction. If you want to have flings/crushes..go AHEAD...but don’t expect anything...because once you expect..all you’ll ever get is a few weeks of nice dizziness and then stabbing disappointment(even if he kisses you the way Tom kissed Renne in Jerry Mcguire).....and we’re all be back to square one where valentine’s day is as good as a funeral day.

But be conscious that things can just flip. One day its sweet and the very next day (not giving you any time to prepare) it’s bitter. And men get it. They do. It’s sometimes women who are just time wasters.

It feels as if I’m getting to the crux...but not quite there yet..

Right now...it’s all calm waters...Tsunami will hit when I’m 30.

It’s too much hard work to sit down and ponder...just live ay?

When am I ever going to grow up?!

Ok....drinking is a good thing. To me. Yes it is a good thing. Drinking moderately when you're down in the dumps isn't a good thing. I thought binge drinking when you're depressed is a good thing. So I binged baby...drank with my sister recently. Dhis, if you're reading this. Shut the hellup. It started out fine with just Sprite and Vodka....Note: I hate gassy stuff with hard liquor. But we had no choice due to slothfulness of our asses getting up to the shops.

So we drank....I drank....and then you know when you're at a certain pissy level of where everything is numb including your brain and you either hate the world or love everyone(one love)....hell yes..I was there....and wanted only neat Vodka shots with a little Blue liqueur...just for colour....I'm a classy drunk (This is discretionary in the coming paragraphs)....

Then as the night progressed...I starting dancing with my cupboards...and then decided to exercise on my gym ball(medicine ball) – balancing is a key word here...I’ll leave it up to you to describe what was I like drunk on a gym ball...no pictures, as I value my self-worth..

The climax is approaching....I promise...

Apparently, I had poured my heart's content to my blackmailing sister....about sexual fantasies and loves of my entire life...seriously...I'm in so much danger right now.

Then she thinks...you know...it's time to tuck little bouncing gym ball drinkedy drunk monkey to bed...and she'll have a good night sleep..

Oh I slept...like a freaking baby...and I only woke up to the sunlight and singing birds...how nice...no life threatening asthma attacks...no toilet visits...cool eh..just one little thing: I could smell puke somehow...like really strong smell of puke...and I was like what the?.....then after sitting up half way...and trying to put the jigsaw together..I realized...I had puked all over myself...in my SLEEP...

Ladies and gentleman: Me.

I cleaned up everything...everything was blue...my sheets...my face and my hair...and my sister is still perplexed. As usual.

But I've got a question for you...It's a medical question...How does someone puke in their sleep...totally out cold....what if I had choked on my own puke and died?

I can be intellectual and I can be nonsensical.

The balanced mind is the way of life.

I'm 27 going on 15 and I'm in love with myself.

Damn i wish i was that girl in Pink baby Tee.

Global Economic Crisis

I give a little shit about these things as I don't want the AUD to slide god damn it. It defeats the whole purpose of my migration.

I nearly fell off my chair: US Fed made a US85 billion loan to save AIG!! from bankruptcy and fears of a meltdown on financial markets. AIG (The insurer) rescued by the government of 85 billion!! And needs to borrow somemore?...I mean, nice bail-out plan.

Forget that....But can we avoid a global recession or not?

The rich world's economies look like it's dwindling and going to the dogs. Recent weeks, when I made an attempt to read the financial news like a crazy person....looks as though the rich-world recession is inevitable. America's economy lost it recently...but cushioned by perhaps the fiscal incentives and strong exports. But as all this wore off, unemployment rates increased, credit tightened and consumer spending dropped. I think Britain is no better too now.

Confidence has turned down which pretty much explains the rate cut. Cheaper money?
Plus the commodity prices falling sharply (oil prices down), inflation risks are fading away in the rich world. Exports will be hit as recession falls onto the rich economies. Falling commodity prices may not be too good for countries that produce them. Things like this.

What else...

Last week I think, four or five central banks, as well as the Federal Reserve and the Bank of England cut lending rates, by half a percentage, just to boost some bloody confidence. But then you have America's Federal Reserve's unsecured lending to companies(dont think i've ever heard this before). Everyone's efforts to rescue the national banking system. I don't quite understand everything about it, but...Liquidity and solvency always seem to be a problem.No? Oh yeah and funding....funds they need to finance the share of their assets not covered by their deposits and etc. Short of capital..Need government money?

Everyones cutting spending (Except for me-still shopping like a neurotic maniac).. and my boss was telling me..some are adding to the pressure on banks by drawing down to glory their existing overdraft facilities regardless of whether they need the money or not.

Nearly all country's banking system is suffering with, enormous losses and in need of capital...because they cannot borrow in the longer-term paper markets....But what are they(rescuers) doing? I dont know....help free up the market for short-term liquidity? by lending to banks longer? to give banks highly liquid instruments in exchange for other illiquid assets, just to get the market working again...

The heart is a bloom.

Ange....I’ll blog about it too :)

‘’ On my wedding day, I danced with two people, the one I married and the one I wish I had married’’

Has got to be the scariest line ever.

That scares me along with almost lovers hooking up with mutual friends. I can’t think of anything that scares me more. Other than my mum in a bad mood or my dad in a good mood.
So it is true, I don’t have inspiration to write like I used to. Why blogger? What’s happening? I need something to chew over. But I have nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Oh yeah, I also always get caught with my mouth full. All the time. Every time someone asks me an urgent or important question, my mouth is always full of that free Arnotts butter biscuits all over the freaking pantry starring at me every minute( Eat me Nelly...eat me ). And then I got to chew the damn thing like man to answer their questions promptly. Geez, trying on my feminism these people. Terrible.

Oh...almost everyone that’s younger than me is getting married in these 2 months.

Oh..i got a nice satin pink dress..so that i played dress up with yesterday...and...I drank a bottle of wine whilst watching the movie Ghost yesterday and passed out on my Sofa with the new pink satin dress....( Please don’t picture this)

I ruined my favourite black stockings.

I got to do the laundry, dishes and carpet.

My life and fucking Librans.

It’s annoying me that I always feel that people are users, especially the ones close to you.
And finally, the view from my apartment is overwhelming and I can’t seem to load the picture from my mobile because I just don’t know whets wrong and I don’t care.

There is Love all around. My love, she throws me like a rubber ball.....(Oh, the sweetest thing.)....

And i have been having massive U2 moments....The heart is a bloom...Shoots up through the stony ground..........Touch me....Take me to that other place....Teach me...I know I'm not a hopeless case....

Nothing sexier than a crazy angry lady at the laundry

Random conversation while I was at the coin laundrette, as my washing machine broke down again.

Can’t remember all of it. But I thought I’d blog about it since I wasn’t in my best behaviour or being polite at all. I was already very annoyed before I stepped foot into that place. So here’s what am capable of doing in a foul mood.
-------------------------
Guy: Hey there...

Me (Already very pissed off that my Sunday was spoilt for some reason): Hey

Guy : What brings you here?

Me: Oh, my washing machine broke. I break things. Everything breaks.

Guy: You not in a good mood?

Me: Well, no...am in a dreadful mood. I tried to be MacGyver and fix things up at my house and everything breaks down. You know..like break it down for me....

Guy : Look, i don’t mean to scare you or anything, but i did not bring a book, and you know how long this drier takes, so i thought i’d say hey cause I’ve got nothing to do...

Note: We're not completely sure of whom was scaring who.

Me: Sure. I smiled after that. For the first time in the convo .Like eeeeeee smile.

Guy : Geez.

Me: What?

Guy : Do you torture men like this?

Me: Hah, dude that was totally random. You don’t even know me and you’re judging? (This close to swearing)

Guy : Cool Down.

Me: Men

Guy : What?

Me: MEN

Guy : What about them?

Me: Now there’s a question. I’m not generalising. But your species just do my head and heart over and over again..might as well dip me in honey and throw me to the lesbians..

Guy : He had the most disgusting look on his face and said well...

Note: We’re not too sure whether it was a well, can I watch or a well, woman you’re crazy....i couldn’t tell..

I remember very well that the conversation ended just about there and i picked up my clothes and left.

Moral of the story: Don’t talk to me when I’ m angry. An angry lady is a very angry lady.

On the bright side: See, am doing so well picking up hot men. *Clap*

Make my mamma so proud of me.

Update update: Pt 2 of god knows how many more.

Now I did not actually diary my whole day-to-day activities…so I can’t really write about the ‘entire’ epic of my almost 3 months welcome to Melbourne Nalina tale….but I shall attempt…

Nowadays I don’t seem to produce the most lengthiest blogs as I used to back in my i-hate-world-is-so unfair-to-me-will-you-please-fuck-off-and-die days…Never mind…let’s see how far along we can go, as it’s late lunch hour here and it’s a Thusday…I don’t usually wrestle with the clock as I used to back home…things are different…and when I say different..I mean it…it's all working well for me and thank god for that.but not for the climate change and high cost of living (I pack my own lunch).

Now, on the housing front: Please see vivid explanation above. The days of squatting with friends ARE SO OVER BABY…and I can’t wait to blog about it( we need a separate blog)..you know that feeling right? When you can be free..like walk around butt naked and etc..do whatever…well yes…So have been looking at a few places here and there….there’s always like 20-30 people waiting to view the place and the odds of me getting it is rather low…but I managed this tiny one…Oh yeah, Real estate agents are not my best friends( same category as recruitment agents and insurance agents) –FO man…

The chocky stealer: There’s this big box of chocolates at the pantry with a clear sign that says $0.80 for one chocky…basically, I have been eating free chockys for 2 weeks now and only today realizing that sign! And below it there’s a sign saying ‘your honesty is highly appreciated’….oh…greediness is not? Oh ok.Not to mention that I clear the fruit box as well. But that’s free.Or is it?
I’m yet to revisit all the cosy bars for a couple….keep missing out on some Friday night drinks with colleagues as I’m still new and do not want to create an impression – You know what I’m talking about..See below:

Bar top panic: It was murder on the bar top…

Randon sleaze bag with a camera wanting to take pics of my knickers: Can i have it like that?

Me, Drunk outta my mind : You got it like that..

Just to be on the safe side and avoid situations like this.

I deciline.

Well what can I say? This is an age where thoughts just move around like crazy and tend to collude behind closed doors like unpredictable human nature forces.

The other night, I was awake at 11pm (I'm usually in the clouds by 10pm as I’ve got to get up by 5:30AM to get to work early)….I felt like, you know..Is this a world kind of thing..what am I doing here…what’s my purpose in life…when I thought I had it all figured out and made my biggest life decision ever. I suddenly got so afraid and all these hidden thoughts/worries came out gushing like a thousand knives on my forehead and I was scared like hell. I got scared of the dark, shadows and started to wonder…what the f**k?..it was like intensified resentment and frustration….then I calmed down…and went to bed…life just bloody goes on sometimes, even when you are forced to stop for a bit to reflect…but you can’t do anything about these reflections as life just goes on….This is not quite the pinnacle of my career, but the move I had made will determine the next 10 years of my life far and wide…

My health is better managed these days. My asthma came back when I got here due to the climate change. I hate ventolin puffs. But I do not have a choice as I might die of breathlessness. How embarrassing and I don’t like un-heroic deaths. The Doctor says that it is your responsibility to protect yourself. I still want to work out, but I got to be slow at the beginning to properly have a good build up. My sister is not here….so no family here…sucks a little…Apple de aps came from the states with wifey whom we never saw and only met him once. :( Yup, it’s the same Apple who teaches English but told us that 'Beauty is the beholder of the eye'... Go Dr!!Your courage is much admired. I still love you.

My Dad still loves me:

Dad: Nalina, have you settled in ok?

Me: Yes, I guess so.

Dad: Ok.

.......Silience..

Dad: Have you checked you email eh girl? Laughs.

Me: No why.

Dad: Heheheheh

Me: What?

Dad: No la girl, I just emailed you a repayment schedule in excel, broken down into months and ignoring the interest rates difference and fixed the rate from AUD-MAS, so you can easily pay me back the sum you loaned from me before you left. So you can die broke every month and I just don’t care about you. Life is tough.

Me: Oh

Me: Ok sure. Send me you bank account details.

Dad: Hehehe.. All there. Remit AUD * into my account on a monthly basis. Email is self explanatory

Me: Cool

Dad: Quite a sizeable amount eh you owe me.

Example of one of the emails:

I refer to our discusion this moning.
The total amount outstanding is RM X comprising RMX for credit card and RMX for me.
Based on an exchange rate of 1:3.10, the amount is around AUD X.You can remit AUDX per month for six months to clear the entire amount. The deductions can commence from this month.
I hope to hear from you.

My dad the finance minister and his daughter the accidental accountant.

Other developments in my life: 1) I Window shopped, I ate Max Brenner like I have not seen choc and 3) I do my laundry at the coin launderette.
And I miss everything there is to miss about home and my friends that flood my mail box every day :) I love getting those emails. It’s like I’m still there. Thanks you.

If I have missed out anything else….i’ll def come with it later on…

Next blog: Worst dates ever - The Saga of my purposeful dates that went to the dogs. There is absolutely nothing sexier than a 27 year old single woman bitching about men.
Preview: What is karma trying to tell me with this constant exposure to peasants? Do I have to obey everything that you hand down? The more I think of men, the more I love stray dogs…..Like profit takers these assholes…This is inspired by PCL…as she says she’ll beat anyone down to worst dates ever…I have met too many shocking men…I have built in shock absorbers…so throw me the most horrible, and I’ll tell you, been there….Positive: He’s just not that into me.

Hot debate.

BY the way, the view from my office is awesome. I’ll picture you guys soon.


This blog is not even it yet.....Hehe.

My friends from Back Home.

[13:48] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Hey you there?

[14:02] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: NELLY BABY!!!!!

[14:02] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: I'm here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[14:02] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: How are u!??!?!

[14:02] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Oi

[14:02] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: I'm fine thanks

[14:02] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Hello sexy

[14:02] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: How are you?

[14:02] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: How do u do

[14:02] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Hahahahah

[14:02] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: I'm fucked up and still drunk from last night

[14:03] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Far from sexy...i put on 5 kilos

[14:03] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Ok ok wait

[14:03] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: I got news

[14:03] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Theres a danger in loving somebody too much

[14:03] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Tell me

[14:03] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: I got an apartment by the beach!

[14:03] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Cool right

[14:03] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: I was quite lucky actually

[14:03] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!

[14:03] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Now get me a fucking job

[14:03] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Hahahahha

[14:03] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Crib by the beach

[14:04] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: I come there we live together ok

[14:04] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Like the coolest thing i have ever done in my entire life

[14:04] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: We get married and have kids straight away its ok with me

[14:04] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Oh

[14:04] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Lol

[14:04] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: The coolest thing you've ever done was to be my friend

[14:04] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: I'M JOBLESS GODDAMNIT

[14:04] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Then we need a bigger place

[14:04] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: AND MY BREATHE STINKS COS I JUST WOKE UP

[14:04] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Jobless and drunk

[14:04] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Yup

[14:04] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Can smell

[14:04] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Still got one more week

[14:05] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Hahaha

[14:05] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Public how la

[14:05] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: CA CA

[14:05] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: ehehehe

[14:05] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Can convert..not too late

[14:05] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: I won’t go telling anybody

[14:05] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Haaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[14:05] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: What?

[14:05] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Ahahahaha

[14:05] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Whats so funny?

[14:05] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Convert to publics?

[14:05] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Where the humour in this?

[14:06] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: I'd rather convert to islam la

[14:06] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Hahahah

[14:06] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Sigh....all you ringgits

[14:06] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Annoy me la sometimes

[14:06] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: lol

[14:06] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Wahhhh

[14:06] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Snobbish ah

[14:06] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: lol

[14:06] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Joke

[14:06] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Ok next week onwards i'm gonna be looking for a job big time

[14:06] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Devi!!!!

[14:06] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: I'm still mabuk

[14:06] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: I need to sleep for a while

[14:07] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Ok bye byeee

[14:07] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Go sleep

[14:07] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: TAKE CARE MY LOVE

[14:07] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: You take care too

[14:07] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: I WILL FOREVER WAIT FOR YOU!!!

[14:07] +Nelly+ G.I Jane:Hahah

[14:07] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Fuck mabuk la

[14:07] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Ok bye

[14:07] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: You cracking me up in the middle of office time

[14:07] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: People are looking at me’ bye!

[14:07] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Get lost faster

[14:11] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: I read our whole convo..it’s too funny....can i blog?

[14:15] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Can

[14:16] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Theres a danger in loving somebody too much

[14:16] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Eh

[14:16] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Its sad when you know you got a freaking beach houseeee

[14:16] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Yup there is

[14:17] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: FUCKING PUBLIC!

[14:17] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: IF U CAN BUY A BEACH HOUSE I CAN BUY THE WHOLE CITY!

[14:17] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: ;(

[14:17] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Rent is the word here

[14:17] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Booo hoooo

[14:17] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: I dont believe in renting

[14:17] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Time being

[14:17] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Babe

[14:18] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: I think im crazy

[14:18] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Whats new?

[14:18] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Seriously

[14:18] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: I'm getting more and more insane by the minute i swear

[14:18] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Whats happening?

[14:19] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: I'M INSANE HAHAHAHAHA

[14:19] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: I must sleep

[14:19] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Now

[14:19] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Before i explode and take the world with me

[14:19] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Ok bye

[14:19] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Whats that video by the way

[14:19] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: I can’t see it

[14:19] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Firewall bull

[14:19] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Tell me

[14:19] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Call me sometime la u fucking hell rich beach person

[14:19] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Ok i will

[14:19] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: For sure

[14:20] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Next time you come to melbourne you better come to my place

[14:20] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Ill stay in ur place the next time im there la bodoh

[14:20] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: U call me soon ok!!!!!!!!!!!

[14:21] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Ok!

[14:21] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Bye bye..i got to go now

[14:21] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Jesus i dont normally type like that

[14:21] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: When u gonna find a nice boy!

[14:21] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Faster

[14:21] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: Marry so i can steal your kids

[14:21] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: No nice boys exist in my vocab

[14:21] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Karma already told me that

[14:22] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: SHUT UP

[14:22] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: FUCK IM REALLY HUNGOVER I NEED TO SLEEP BYE

[14:22] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Did i say something out of the ordinary?

[14:22] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Oh

[14:22] +Nelly+ G.I Jane: Okok..you sleep

[14:22] Count Nefarius - Walking down Desolation Road: NO BUT BYE ANYWAY


Ladies and gentlemen: The brother i wish i had.

...................................................................................


Dear aunties AND little under aged baby cousins (whom I should stand for as a good example) of mine that I know read my blogs, Please forgive the swear words used in this blog, as it is a direct conversation on IM. I’m still a good girl. You can sleep peacefully at night.

Here comes me with the low down!

It’s been about 3 weeks upon arrival into this winter wonderland. Now, there are just so many things I want to say, I don’t really know where to start. Leaving was difficult; really bloody difficult given the fact that I’m not ordinarily emotional…I’m unduly complicated. The toughest part was at the Malaysian airport after clearing customs and it was like I was walking into this world of vacuum…nothing but dead silence and isolation. I cried inside. And I cried inside.
I met this polite Indian lady who was doing her PhD in Math on the plane, quite amazing as she’s a mother of 2 from Malaysia…very rare. I liked her. We said our goodbyes at the Melbourne airport. After that, I checked out and got myself a nice hot cuppa and hailed for a cab to Eng Hoe’s.

Officially Day 1.

The whole day, other than being a Zombie that hardly sleeps on planes (you know why)…Turbulence! I followed my friends to do whatever..Bought some stuff and headed home to sleep…a few people called to check if I was ok and all. I love you all so much. Words can’t really describe it.

In a nutshell : The following weeks were filled with a lot of cooking, as I was not working seeing that I could get back earlier on my aggressive( putting it calmly), work hunting task. I was not even calm, composed or poised. I said ok to every recruitment agent that wanted to see me at the same time and I literally made it for all simultaneously. I could be making a mountain out of a molehill here just a little. But that’s how it really felt ok. Paranoid about funds running low and time being wasted and job markets were getting all tight on me and etc. I had to be the soldier of hounding recruiters and potential employers. I got a job in one a half weeks after getting here. So all of you out there, never say impossible. Come talk to me.

I really got to go now. This is certainly to be continued.

Kisses to all of you.

When there's nothing you can do in this world full of ordinary people

This is going to be my very first Dear Blog friends post. But heck it, I' m going to anyhow.

Dear Blog friends and fellow unidentified stalkers (I can say this, as yours truly is THE essence of blog stalking),

I seem to only get into a blog writing frenzy when it is close to that time of the month, I don't know why?! I need an answer to this too, as it's getting too frequent. I need answers. I'm going to throw you a few questions which I can't seem to figure out, even if I had mulled over it sober and drunk.

I need real answers because I' am real.

Be reflective and flexible.

1) Why doesn't practicality exist in my life? Every aspect, every angle of my life, I don't seem to apply the great big rule of reasonableness, because life is just way too short for that sort of thing and I'm an extremist and nothing in between. Why cant I be a little ordinary and accept the way the world and its lovely participants actually work and we can all live happily ever after? Why am I a non-conformist?

2) Why that is my core values are always read wrongly? People and their thin efforts and guesses.

3) Why from time to time you feel so helpless, that there's nothing more to do?

4) Can I please have the full definition and difference between a real friend, not-so-real friend and toxic friend?

5) Do you sometimes get the feeling that you are one in a million? I get that. I' m going to bald-facedly say it. I possibly am one in a million. Am I this thick-skin?

• Pardon my inability to answer these questions as I do not have any. I don't think I'll have the answers even after I have completed this whole track of life.

Come to me words of wisdom.

N.

Prabakaran Thillaiambalam :
tuning!!!! hahaha..look at how pissed of rajan is...... (under the influence of some potent nectar of satans piss!!)....classic shot!! 1)gurminder - counting time to next tune and humming away 2)kevin - remembering lyrics and buying time 3)rajan - all volume knobs at 10 !!! janji rock

Kevin Bernard :
Praba - I'm 1/100000000 of a note off on my E-string. The ants are sure to notice!!! Gurminder - Where the fuck is Vernon? I need the chords! Kevin - Need more sex..... need more sex..... Selva - I think after tonight I'll disappear for an entire year and make them think I'm not their friend anymore. Rajan - Fuck this scene..... I wanna go to KL!

Raja Rajan :
hahahaha hahaha HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!

Nalina Devi Kirupalani :
Hahahahahhahaha....Kevin, iam in fits of laughter...LOL LOL

Kevin Bernard :
I swear even in Australia right now our boy is thinking about KL....

Nalina Devi Kirupalani :
Thats exactly what cracked me up!

Raja Rajan :
Haaaaaaahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Embrace love and ageing

When it comes to birthdays recently, I get palpitations. Real shit. Ok come on. 27! From the looks of it, the only thing left to be discontented about is that I' am not going to get a gold medal in marriage. Alright, if I were to sit down now with a strong cup of black coffee or a strong glass of gin and tonic, figuring out the essence of a 27-year old relationship eff-ed up icon and star of the 'I love estranged men' drama. This does not coincide with my rapidly ticking biological clock and love for motherhood.

I had nice lunch with a girlfriend today, where I was assessing her guy. I liked him. Thumbs up. I don't judge.

Give me gin, tonic, Bacardi, coke and I come alive.

The most important things right now:-

1) Career move
2) Travel
3) Style
4) Family & Friends
5) Knowing
6) Health
7) Charity – If I can. I want to open a school of my own someday.
8) The spiritual life
9) In any case - one musical instrument.

I' am feeling convinced and energetic today and very much in command of the future and my dad's money for the next few weeks.

Don't even know why I had updated this. Think I could be having The Bloggers' Block big time.

Night.

I just looked back over on what I had written....Oh Dear, why didn't you tell me I was this messed up. Lol!

Up and hormonal

You see, my momma should have locked her liquor cabinet. She never learns. Now I' am home alone. Had 'a tad bit' of Bitter lemon and gin and decided to blog. Eeeeee haaaaaaa...The apple does not fall far from the tree: My momma's liquor cabinet (my genes control how much I drink) – The likeliness of me becoming an alcoholic star = 10/10. What hoochie mama.

Believe it or not...I' am having work withdrawal symptoms...I know...i whined a lot and cried a lot, but somehow, I miss that dog fur smelling curtain material dresser spinster boss of mine, please don't ask me why..because contrary to popular believe, my way of thinking is uncommon ..but now I just cant stay still....That I blog emotional crap, is well established as I like. Because of economic consequences, I' am pitiable due to how dry I' am = both, in terms of money dry(paid for a summon which i have no idea of) and well dry. Not surprisingly, it all looks pretty neat and easy....These contradicting conclusions are connected to my momma’s liquor cabinet that was unlocked and I home alone...nothing too puzzling about it. Today I want to stop child labour, I want to help the poor, I want to revamp the Malaysian education system, I want to be the Chief Financial Officer of Murphy Oil Corporation...and I want to....actually, deep down, I just want another drink, so I can celebrate how inspiring my life is and how I need to get laid. Damn it. I mean....the well is dry? Dry dry dry....Oh MFG, time to shut up now. Shut shut shut up.

I read this in the Economist: ‘Taller people on average are more employable’ .....You go Economist...I like...Economist...

I' am listening to:-

Sephia, by Sheila on 7.

Hey,Sephia
Malam ini ku takkan datang
Mencuba untuk berpaling sayang
Dari cintamu
Hey,Sephia
Malam ini ku takkan pulang
Tak usah kau mencari aku,demi cintamu

Hadapilah ini
Kisah kita takkan abadi

S'lamat tidur kekasih gelap ku[ooo.....Sephia]
S'moga cepat kau lupakan aku
Kekasih sejatimu takkan pernah sanggup untuk melupakanmu

S'lamat tidur kasih tak terungkap [ooo.....Sephia]
S'moga kau lupakan aku cepat
Kekasih sejatimu takkan pernah sanggup untuk meninggalkanmu

Hey,Sephia
Jangan pernah panggil namaku
Bila kita bertemu lagi
Dilain hari
Hadapilah ini
Kisah kita takkan abadi

No nasty comments please....Its one week from that time of the month...Queen B is on her highest lethal mode....They can’t take that away from her....

Lotsa love, hugs, kisses and more more kisses,

N.

Kuljeet's wedding: The colours of India

Time to turn on the lights

Hello All!!

Decline of the blog scene I know. With work like these, even my finger diarrhea decease had to be put on hold. I did not forget you guys. I never did.

Now somebody once asked me what was my one life defining moment. Except at that time, I couldn't answer because I didn't have one. But now I do and I'll just come out and say it, Its Vick (My buddy who passed away recently in a nasty road accident). I just needed to get that out and if I may add, the sweetest thing a guy has ever done for/to me is to reach for my hand under the table of which a serious nerve racking meeting was going on, because my hand was showily terribly cold and he wanted to keep it warm.

It's a wee bit hard out there dude.

Ok lets get into the groove now..

Ladies and Gentlemen: I' am hereby jobless for the next two months following my departure in June. I can foresee May being a very tense month. So here is me, keeping you posted on my life on a typical day (A weekday and a weekend makes no difference to me)

I present to you the happenings of one week of freedom from Ursula the mad spinster boss.

8am: 7th heaven (Usually cursing the goddamn alarm with all different kinds of foul languages known to mankind)

9am: 7th heaven (Usually at work staring at my coffee cup and looking at the PC wondering why I'am alive and why does god hate me so much)

10am: 7th heaven (Usually smelling dog fur at the boss's room)

11am: Singing to the birds while gracefully waking up to a sun kissed morning that never looked so pretty.

11:30am: Sweet time at breakfast pretending it’s the Holiday Inn, while heading out to the gym.

GYM at an odd hour is always a good thing for me if I intend to try out new things in life like Belly dancing and Latin dancing. Why you may ask?..uhmm...See, Charlize Theron told me in my dreams that, if I wanted to do those things that would entail my whole booty shaking uncontrollably....let it be the booty that ONLY shakes and nothing else (i.e. my humble fats)...To avoid any public disgrace of my multi layered tummy and Godzilla love handles coupled with my world class dance skills, I choose to go for these classes late mornings, when only Grandma Sue and Aunty Lilly are in it.

Ok enough of the time thing, but I read a little, spend time with people a little and do stuff for family a little.

Edgy single hood discomfort: When paranoia tends to always get the better of me, it leaves me strapped with sickening thoughts. This, I agree with Pri, a really tricky business. Relationships or almost one or whatever the heck you call it...I believe in different degrees of difficulty in everything...Mightier? More optimistic? I don't know. Something I think of or have already thought of 4 steps ahead of a current conversation. I guess I have a normal life...just because all great love stories are always tragedies?

“Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love, it is the faithless who know love's tragedies.” - Oscar Wilde

Its 11:00 pm on a Saturday night. Muah my lovies.

Pinch me

At the gates of hell: I have just extended my 6 month contract for another month, just so I could comfortably pay off my CC bills.

Today I want to talk about 2 things. One, on how I have failed to be a spiritual being and on how short a time I have left before I leave for Melbourne in June.

I won’t take up much of your time I promise.

They call it a “spiritual self assessment’’ or ‘’ spiritual by choice’’, and this is what I need. When I was born into this sinful world of everything and grew up not knowing the level of irritation around me. Now I have come to realize that, people around me are somewhat a constant irritation. I love being by myself most time the time or doing what I want. But since we are all alone in this world. I do not want to be affected by these little and big irritations. So I want to love all your irritating specimens out there. So, I opted to be spiritual and to remain calm and neutral at all times, which is so difficult to practice with this and that. After my break in May, I would like to be slightly ahead of where I’am now. You must think I’am crazy. Well, the gods must be crazy and therefore I’am crazy. This is something for me. Critics say that I have elevated impartiality to a statement of belief by becoming this different person, or that I’am plain selfish or even off-tangent, claiming that this might not be right. Why, thank you very much, but I usually never listen to you anyway. What is clear is that the meaning of spirituality has changed for since a series of events and one in particular. So everyday I pray in the temple of the night to better myself and to love my enemies (does not help when you were sleeping with one) and to remain calm, for all this is just momentary drama.

Point no. 2. The best news of all. Who’s counting? I’am leaving! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee….and quite ill-prepared actually. On the face of things, I’am really happy to go. I could be a wee bit faint hearted about this. My whole new life. Just thinking about my new home, my new job, new people, new stuff and its all new! I like the sound if that. I will inform you, or even write another blog when its countdown to lift-off!! 10-9-8-7…….!! Not yet not yet. Hold it. But, it’s bit of a risky business, to go without a job, but this is no survivor episode, I’ll find my way around. My best friend Michelle, will support me, I know you will! She is the only that can read my silent inside stories.

Selfish quite of the day:

When I’am working, time is my most valuable asset. Please forgive me for not answering phone calls.

I’am not letting the music stop…so lets danceeeee…

........

The 4th time I felt nauseas on Valentines Day- A few weeks back.

4 years ago, I threw up at the sight of some love struck puppy with flowers, prancing about the office and placing her perfectly arranged flowers on her desk and looks at it for a few seconds..looks around and sits smiling to herself….and 4 years now, I feel nauseas at the same sight.

Girl in front of me: Aiyohhh..my boy friend sooooo uselesssss oneee I tell you…sure no flowers he send me today….sure he forget today valentine day….so stupiddddd this guys

Me: Oh. Maybe he’ll send you, maybe he remembers. You never know?

Girl in front of me: No no NO..i know wan…I saw his face this morning….No flower for me today..

Me: I’ll buy you some?

GIFOM: No nelly no.

Aiyaaaa…I sooooo miserableeeeee

Me: Hmmmmm…

3 hours has passed….

A telephone call from the front desk…calling her…'You’ve got something come collect it at the front desk’.

Picture a hop, skip, jump and a prolonged tamed thrilled squeal while she waltzes to the front desk and a little bit of puke in my mouth all at the same time.

GIFOM: Ohhhhh..my stuuupiddd boyfriend…hehehahahahahahah….so sweetttttt ahhhh..i get flowerrrrr woooo…..stupid stupidddd babyyyy….

Me: Kill me kill me kill me kill me….

……

I' am so mean. But I also have not updated in here for a while. Look at all of you. Writing away! :)

How may I offer my love to the world today, since it’s my favourite day of the week= Monday!

: -

The sexuality of four accountants during the day. Eat this playboy mag.

How's the blood pressure yo.

So here’s the thing. It’s not a very good idea to be the boss’s pet.

Due to lack of motivation to blog, incomplete sentences and the fact that I have switched from coffee to green tea in the mornings.I’am not a very happy bunny.

About me and the many things that puzzles me: Up-close and not too personal.

1) I’ am getting right to it. I hate the fuckin’ telephone. I just hate the telephone. I hate text messages. I hate infuriating phone calls. I hate the phone. Did I mention that I hate the phone? Alexander Graham Bell you have created a nuisance.

There. My love for the telco world.

2) I love people who ride with no judgment at all. I will love you forever. Others just try on my BP. What’s funny is that, I can’t even take a nice good blow at you and your foolish face.

3) I have been singing to people lately. And was asked if I would like to go to jail? I said 'no why?'.. Reply from listeners.. 'because you so totally killed the song'. People, I’am not EVEN a fairly decent singer, as I’am the best singer I know. And the only reason why I warded off joining the Malaysian idol was because I wanted to give others a chance and a reason to compete. See, I’am so nice. SO nice me.

Videoooo killedddd the radioooo starrrrr…..or Radiooo killeddd the videoooo starrr…sing with me….one MORE time…lets go… Videoooo killedddd the radioooo starrrrr…..or Radiooo killeddd the videoooo starrr…Nalinaaa has losttt her minddd…Nalinaaa wants to kill her boss..Nalinaaa is the radiooo starrrr..Nalina is the videooo starrrrr..

4) I was told that I’ am too tall. And to not wear heels!!. But what I usually do is wear the highest heels in town and be head and shoulders above every man known to me…and walk to the opening tune of Michael Jackson’s “ The way you magge meh feel”....Oh yeah.. the way you turn me onnn...

5) This is going to land you the biggest laugh : My very old grandma convinced me that I’am related to King Chola the 1st. A close relative. Casually told me this over lunch one day.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rajaraja_Chola_I

which which …which…makes me a princess right? …Wowwww…

6)Most romantic kiss…still the grey’s man. Still the grey’s.

I’am a lil cut up about Heath Ledger’s death. "Pills were found in the vicinity of the bed," -- CNN. RIP. You were hot in the 10 things I hate about you.

My name is Nalina. And I’am so totally going to rock today.

Muah muah my lovies.

Nice

A picture of Lord Ganesha…not seen a painting like this of him…does not look like him in any way…well, yeah…Lord Ganesha for you..at times my friend..sometimes not..This photo of Buddha is nice to look at.

:)

Threshold of craziness, save me while you can.

Brown Sugar.

God couldn't let it live

It feels stuffy in here. The air.

There’s a huge Christmas tree right next to me. All fully decorated. May the spirit of Christmas come to me.

Simply a Tuesday.

Battle. I fight I fight and I fight.

But what happens if it keeps coming back?

I can’t bring myself to write everything. But, whatever I can.

I’ll try and make it as funny as possible. I promise.

I’ am getting by

Don’t worry, I’ am not suicidal or anything. I’am a very practical person. I think I’am the most practical person I know.

Giraffes don’t fly.

Shit. I’am faltering. Ok ok.

I work everyday. I work with this person everyday for a while now. Day and night. Weekends and etc. And the beauty of it is that, he never complains. I’am a workaholic (Audit trained).He is with me through out the day.Working,fighting,bitching,cheering me up and the whole lot.

After a while, I grew attached to him, and looked forward to work everyday because I know I can rely on him.

I don’t think I’ve met any smarter engineer, who could have grasped finance so quickly and well.

To think of all those things that are worth remembering is just way too much and as to how you can be so fond of someone in such a short time is strange. It could be my eff-ed up subconscious mind that’s playing up as usual and not magic. Don’t know anymore. To tell you exactly how I feel is a waste of time, because you simply can’t comprehend this complex many-sided stupid thing. How does it feel when you look for someone every morning, just so your whole morning would turn out nice.

If you find this post very sappy and shit. You can fuck off right now. Just telling you nicely. I will bite back. Latest opinion: life is like that. WTF?

So today, looking at his vacant cubicle for the 2^nd day, with a box on top of it with all his things I had put in yesterday. I miss him intolerably. I was numb since yesterday and getting on with life. I will definitely. It’s just that I need time because I don’t really like god right now. His face and his laughter keeps flashing by me. His deep voice just keeps ringing in my ears. I’am not crazy, but I’am just writing. I don’t even have a picture with you. Thats what’s even funnier. I’ll make a small confession, I took some of his things and kept it. Like his Dr.backbone thing where you sling it around your chair and it’s supposedly good for your backbone, if you are a work whore like me. Looking at all your handwritings and all our stupid notes back and forth bitching about the bosses is making me queasy.Somewhat.And how we have divided our work appropriately and together seeing this audit through with minimal help as we do not have hands. He wanted to go, but I wheedled him to stay and assured him you’d get the right amount of finance exposure by the end of this term. He said ok.

I’am not going for RK’s birthday without you, no way I’am getting a LOSER tag alone. Nah ah.(RK-Roshan Kumar is my spinster bosses 3 year old dog)-she is having a bash for him and invited Vick and I.Invitation cards to the both of us and all.

Oh my god. I miss your stupid smile and the way you try to run me down just because you’re freaking smarter, which I thought was very irritating. Along with teaching me how to speak Tamil, because I speak Tamil like a white girl.

I could go on. But then you might need to bring out that vodka.

See I told you I’ am not a good blogger.I wasn’t born to blog.

Mindless finger diarrhea is getting the better of me. I think its time for me to go now. I’am ignoring all signs that remind me of you. I’ll make an effort along with paying attention to all that advice about life. Individuality in you. I knew that. Today you are stealing the limelight!

He died in a car crash last Friday.

I’am stuck in a moment and I can’t get out of it. I don’t like god and U2 right now.

I’am proving a champion of the art of happiness. I keep my cool.

Her Voice

by Oscar Wilde

The wild bee reels from bough to bough
With his furry coat and his gauzy wing,
Now in a lily-cup, and now
Setting a jacinth bell a-swing,
In his wandering;
Sit closer love: it was here I trow
I made that vow,
Swore that two lives should be like one
As long as the sea-gull loved the sea,
As long as the sunflower sought the sun,-
It shall be, I said, for eternity
'Twixt you and me!
Dear friend, those times are over and done;
Love's web is spun.
Look upward where the poplar trees
Sway and sway in the summer air,
Here in the valley never a breeze
Scatters the thistledown, but there
Great winds blow fair
From the mighty murmuring mystical seas,
And the wave-lashed leas.
Look upward where the white gull screams,
What does it see that we do not see?
Is that a star? or the lamp that gleams
On some outward voyaging argosy,
Ah! can it be
We have lived our lives in a land of dreams!
How sad it seems.
Sweet, there is nothing left to say
But this, that love is never lost,
Keen winter stabs the breasts of May
Whose crimson roses burst his frost,
Ships tempest-tossed
Will find a harbour in some bay,
And so we may.
And there is nothing left to do
But to kiss once again, and part,
Nay, there is nothing we should rue,
I have my beauty,-you your Art,
Nay, do not start,
One world was not enough for two
Like me and you.

................................................

Berno's blog hangover.

I love you Berno...

And the greatest of these....

Brains or Intercourse

I always wonder why people do research to discover the obvious. Now researchers have “discovered” that smart people have less intercourse than people of average intelligence.
http://www.gnxp.com/blog/2007/04/intercourse-and-intelligence.php

One reason the dimwitted get so much action is that they tend to be more attractive than smart people. That’s not a coincidence. It’s genetics. Hot/dumb people are more likely to mate with other hot/dumb people and produce hot/dumb kids. Here’s a headline you’ll never see: “Nobel Prize winner for physics thanked his supermodel parents for all of their support.”

I once saw a study that said smart people are more likely to have bad eyesight than dumb people. That explains a lot. If smart people could see each other clearly, there would never be another smart baby created except by genetic mutation.

You would think that smart people would use their intelligence and creativity to improve their sex lives. But I don’t need to tell my readers that when you have an excellent imagination, a partner just slows things down. People of average intelligence have more intercourse, sure, but I’ll bet the Mensans are winning the orgasm competition by about ten to one. Add that to the things you don’t really need to do any research on.

This leads me to my question of the day. Would you be willing to give up 10 points of IQ for a dramatic and permanent increase in your sex life (with other humans)?


Why rich women have sons

Females are tougher, so if you're a poor mother, you're more likely to have a daughter, a study shows.

RICH, married, well-educated women tend to have more sons, while those who are poorer and unhealthy tend to have more daughters, a study shows.

Put simply, the reason is that women are tougher than men. According to evolutionary theory, women living in poorer communities are predisposed to have daughters to ensure survival of the family line because the men are at greater risk of dying younger.

The US research, published recently in the Proceedings of the Royal Society, looked at a database of 50 million people. It holds a mirror to poor health and education in black America, where black mothers have long had fewer boys than white mothers.

And it has depressing implications for countries such as India and China, where female infanticide occurs, since the findings suggest these countries cannot avoid having an excess of daughters.

The idea has proved true for a range of species, such as insects, birds, pigs, sheep, dogs, mink and deer.

"We find that married, better educated and younger [which is advantageous from a biological perspective] mothers are more likely to bear sons," said Professor Lena Edlund, who co-wrote the study with Professor Douglas Almond, a colleague at Columbia University in New York.
"For instance, relative to a mother with some college education, a mother without a high school degree was approximately 0.6 per cent less likely to bear a boy.

There has been little research in Australia into sex distribution at birth. However, the National Perinatal Statistics Unit at the University of NSW has just started researching the subject. "In Australia we have historically had quite stable ratios, about 106 boys to 100 girls, which is in the normal range," Jishan Dean, the unit's acting director, says.

The research is looking at whether recent migrants from India and China, with their cultural preference for boys, are influencing Australian birth patterns, she says. The researchers will also look at socioeconomic factors.

The US study provides powerful confirmation of an idea set out more than three decades ago by Robert Trivers, an evolutionary biologist, and Dan Willard, a mathematician, who boil life down to one factor - having as many offspring as possible and thus passing on as many genes to future generations as possible.

The Trivers-Willard hypothesis argues that strong, healthy women tend to have sons, ensuring their genes and family lines are passed on. These sons, in turn, are strong and outdo other weaker male offspring to reproduce, thus ensuring survival of the fittest and of the family line.
Weaker or poor mothers tend to have weaker sons who do not do well and are more likely to die early - earlier than women in the same society.

To ensure survival of the family line, the women tend to have daughters because they are more likely to survive long enough to become mothers themselves.
Although the results strictly apply to the US, Edlund says that she would expect the effect of a bias towards girls at the bottom social strata to be more pronounced in developing countries because infant mortality is up to 10 times greater than in America.

Being bilingual 'protects brain'

Being fluent in two languages may help to keep the brain sharper for longer, a study suggests.
Researchers from York University in Canada carried out tests on 104 people between the ages of 30 and 88.
They found that those who were fluent in two languages rather than just one were sharper mentally.
Writing in the journal of Psychology and Ageing, they said being bilingual may protect against mental decline in old age.
Previous studies have shown that keeping the brain active can protect against senile dementia.

Research has shown that people who play musical instruments, dance or read regularly may be less likely to develop the condition.
Other activities like doing crosswords or playing board games may also help.
Language skills
This latest study appears to back up the theory that language skills also have a protective effect.
Dr Ellen Bialystok and colleagues at York University assessed the cognitive skills of all those involved in the study using a variety of widely recognised tests.
They tested their vocabulary skills, their non-verbal reasoning ability and their reaction time.
Half of the volunteers came from Canada and spoke only English. The other half came from India and was fluent in both English and Tamil.
The volunteers had similar backgrounds in the sense that they were all educated to degree level and were all middle class.

The researchers found that the people who were fluent in English and Tamil responded faster than those who were fluent in just English. This applied to all age groups.
The researchers also found that the bilingual volunteers were much less likely to suffer from the mental decline associated with old age.
"The bilinguals were more efficient at all ages tested and showed a slower rate of decline for some processes with aging," they said.
"It appears...that bilingualism helps to offset age-related losses."
The UK's Alzheimer's Society welcomed the study.

"These findings, that early development of second language may improve a specific aspect of cognitive function in later life, are very interesting," said Professor Clive Ballard, its director of research.
"It is a possibility that the acquisition of a second language in early childhood may influence the process of the development of neuronal circuits.
"However, the results of this particular study need to be interpreted cautiously as they were comparing groups of individual of different nationalities, educated in different systems. "It is also well recognised that education in general can bestow benefits on cognitive function in later life."

......> All from some article.

Past life analysis

How would you like to be greeted in the mornings?

Perhaps, a warm smile, a nice plate of sugary donuts in from of you, stupid emails from friends (I love it) - makes my morning every time..OR,if Tony Prove struts around my cubicle(which he usually does)...Tony Prove is the engineer, with tight buns and perfect spiky hair and a silver earring( I hate men with earrings, but Tony Prove made me change my mind...)Sigh..Tony Prove’s buns(better than sugary donuts ;)..

Today, lovely people, I had no freaking morning emails.

Come on, you are seriously depriving me of my morning mails. Calling out to ALL ex- KPMGians...wheres the goss??!!

Anyhoo...

Instead I got an email from an uncle titled past life analysis (no bullshit) - this has been endorsed by astrologers and crap like that.

Me...wow...made my morning for sure....because I'am quite sure I was Cleopatra in my past life, only two, either Cleopatra or some kind of goddess princess...and just needed to get some confirmation from this ‘endorsed’ past life analysis...

The thing went like this..

Who were you in your past life?

To know the answer, just type in the date you were born in your present life...and press for diagnosis...

I typed in everything and pressed diagnosis... *YAWN*

The end result...

Your past life diagnosis:

I don't know how you feel about it, but you were a male in your last earthly incarnation. You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Poland around the year 1700. Your profession was that of a trainer or holder of fine animals, such as birds..

Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Person with huge energy, good in planning and supervising. If you were just a garbage-man, you were chief garbage-man.

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your lesson is to learn humility and faith in spiritual principles. You should believe in higher reasons.

Do you remember now?

--> Another near nervous breakdown.

Me: This is more than I can stomach.

Vodka.

Hehehaha.

...

That wasnt happy laughter.

That was...it can't get any better than this.

Life is gooooottttt...me a male,polish,chief garbage collector with a fetish for birds in my past life yo!!

'Be great in act, as you have been in thought' - Shakespeare.

It's not easy to be me.

So in the past: Trashy times.

Thought experiment – The lonesome accountant

I was reading the pop culture librarian (you rock) on lonesomeness. What constitutes oneself from identifying themselves with a lonesomeness fever? OMG my sentence. I’ll tell you.

8:00am: Unwillingly wake up while cursing the goddamn alarm with all kinds of foul languages and looking at my pillow and going shit I’ am going to be bald at the amount of hair I’am losing on a daily basis. Hehehe..So funny me. Hehehe. A sudden flash of the bald Britney in my head and then I’am off the bed.

7:30am: I’am up prior to a death threat to be at the office on time.

Morning Indian drama takes place at the Adams family.

8:55am: I’am at work.

Afternoon/Evening Indian drama takes place at the nutty refuge called my office.

Me, not too happy about something.See my size does matter calculator there.Yeap.I will throw it at your head should you irritate me.

Check out my nails. I'am not that feminine when it comes to showin' off nails.

In between peace: My lunch at Subway. Sandwich lunch. No rice!

8:30pm: I’am so tired. I want to go home. I’am missing my gym class. Then i’am told ok you can go off in 10 mins

9:30pm: I call someone from the Adams family to pick me up.

End result: Lonesomeness

As to how this is tied to lonesomeness, I’am not 100% sure. But its somewhere along the lines of please get a life because I’d rather sleep in during weekends. Thank you very much.

The point where I reached self awareness was about a good 5 years ago. We not talking men here (still not quite grown up there).You know, in these 26 years of my colorful life. I wanted to beat some old habits which are not good and include some habits which are good. How do you inculcate a habit? Do it for 21 times repeatedly and it’ll automatically register into your daily schedules. This is doubtlessly true, as I’am taking my multivitamins everyday without fail. Good me.

Other than being a slutto that’s afraid of getting darker than she already is while couldn’t be giving a rat’s ass about whether her panty line can be seen....welcome to world of things I like and don’t....those were ALL my plus points from my previous blogs.

For all my world class talents, my ambition to bid for miss world is doomed(Please refer to current condition of thighs-see pic below).But this is not stopping me from winning the miss world 2080 title when there’s almost nothing about me that is appealing except for my scary stretch marks from big thighs.

Ursula the sea witch

My humps..my humps my humps my humps..opps sorry my thighs my thighs my thighs my thighs…(see below)

Spot the diff?

Dig this.

Happy Diwali everyone!!

I know what I did last Diwali * ing ing ing ing* - a sound from the movie psycho when Norman bates is about to knife someone: http://nalinakiru.blogs.friendster.com/nalinas_chaos/2006/10/when_the_pimps_.html#comments

It’s a good day to be alive!! Its Friday and I had a two hour lunch breakkkk..’’Friday afternoon, we come together when the feelin’s right…Friday afternoon and we’ll be jamming till the evening light…then I go to bed..on a fridayy night…’’

Ok ok ok..I’am going I’am going…geez….now I’ll leave it to you to tie this whole thing up to lonesomeness.

I’am gone.